


Keep Breathing

by Rhino_Here



Category: Doki Doki Literature Club! (Visual Novel)
Genre: Best Friends, Child Abuse, Depression, F/M, Healing, Hope, Platonic Female/Male Relationships, Saving Your Friends, Self-Harm, True Love, hopeless
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-28
Updated: 2020-12-16
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:55:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 24,400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25565455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rhino_Here/pseuds/Rhino_Here
Summary: Anti-Social ever since Middle School started, and never enjoyed talking to anyone but one person. Her. Best friends since they were little kids, he starts to lose contact when High School began.Despite her attempts he'd honestly rather play video games, read manga, or watch anime. Although now in Senior year, this will all change very very soon.
Relationships: Protagonist/Sayori (Doki Doki Literature Club!)
Comments: 12
Kudos: 25





	1. Into Your Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone who doesn't really want to talk to many other, yet is always forced to come out of his shell whenever around her. Although while to her alone that may change soon with the constant bothering of a certain club that needs a new member to be officially recognized.

"Eeeeyaaahhhhhhhhhhhmmmm..."

What uh... ah. What? Wait- Christ I can't see anything. I quickly scrub my eyes and look at my alarm clock. Crap. I woke up just twenty minutes to late. I won't have enough time to get ready if I don't hurry my ass out of bed! Quickly hopping up I dash through my open door out into the hallway towards the bathroom, making sure to cling onto the towel hanging on top of the railing while speeding past.

Almost slamming the door I toss the towel on the rack and while it promptly slips off of it I turn on the shower to be as hot as possible, while starting to take off my boxers with one hand I use my other to grab the towel and put it more carefully on the rack. I slip off my shirt as well and hop into the still freezing shower. It takes a while to warm up and I can't be late so setting it to the hottest setting will at the very least make it lukewarm by the time I'm done.

I shriek internally at how cold it is, but ultimately try (keyword: try) to ignore it. I begin to dance around in circles while scrubbing my hair to get it as wet as possible as fast as possible. Grabbing the shampoo bottle I continue the slow spinning and put a cross pattern of shampoo on my head and put the bottle back where it originally once came. I scrub my head like I've never done before and then rinse the shampoo off while still scrubbing. I grab the conditioner bottle and repeat.

The water starts to get warmer as I grab a bar of soap and begin to scrub myself down top to bottom with it, then tossing it to the side and hopping around like a fool and scrubbing with my hands all over to get as clean as possible as fast as possible. When I'm done I shut the water off, open the shower curtain slightly, and grab the towel and start cleaning my upper body.

I hop out of the tub, almost tripping in the process, and dry my lower body. I wrap the towel around my waist and grab my bar of deodorant and q-tips and clean my ears out and use the deodorant on my armpits. I set both back down and look at my face to check if I need to shave. Ultimately I think it's fine for today so I open the door and dash back to my room while cleaning out my eyes and trying to not slip on the wooden floor. 

Entering my room I close the door and drop the towel. I run to my wardrobe and open it revealing my school uniforms. I grab one clothing of each set and toss them onto my bed, I then shut the drawer and open the two smaller drawers one set below that one. I grab my underwear from the left drawer and a pair of matching socks on the right. I slip both on and turn to the school uniform.

By the time I buckled my pants up and had my shirt on I looked towards my clock to see I have just about five more minutes left, so I relaxed ever so slightly knowing I can get breakfast at school from the café. I then turn my head towards my window, and my eyes to my next door neighbor's room. It belongs to Sayori, we've known each other ever since we were kids and have been neighbors for just as long. What is she still doing in bed..?

Trying to not get distracted by what is at hand, literally, I put my vest on and then my coat. Buttoning it up, I turn to the mirror on my left and give myself a one-two. I look nice enough I guess, tall, slim, somewhat brownish-black hair, brown eyes. Good enough for the girls, right? 

"Right. I hope at least." I quietly say to myself while chuckling.

I turn my head back to Sayori's room. I notice she's out of bed and looking somewhat still tired. I hope she's getting enough sleep. I grab my phone from it's charging stand and walk out of my room. Skipping down the stairs I walk to the kitchen to find it empty, guess mom and dad already went out to work. I open the pantry and grab a granola bar. What, a man's gotta eat something for Christ's sake?

I walk outside, granola bar in hand, and stretch wide while yawning. Grabbing my phone from my pocket I check the time to see I'm actually on schedule, somewhat at least. Going to the corner where I usually wait for Sayori I notice she isn't here.

That's something I have begun to notice a lot actually. She's always so late, sometimes I feel like I should go wake her up myself so we don't show up late to school.  
... Well now that I think about that plan it sounds awfully weird. Isn't that something a boyfriend would do? We are only just friends after all, not sure why someone like Sayori would even want to date me I mean it's not like I'm a- "MC!"

"OHHHHHhhh- Hey Sayori! Didn't notice you there for a second, sorry!" 'Yea real smooth one,' I think to myself while talking.

"Hehe sorry for scaring you," she has a large grin on her face for someone trying to apologize. I simple laugh at her cute nature mentally.  
"It's alright, I was just spacing out is all," I question if I should ask how come she got out of bed so late, but decide to ask later. We had to get to school. "Cmon lets get going before we're late again." I grab her hand we begin to walk forward, I'm guessing she was a bit surprised when I heard a small squeak from her when doing so.

I slowly let go once we are more up the road and she walks up to my side rather then right behind me. She doesn't say anything but glancing to the left I can see her slightly blushing. I guess it is rather cold out today, after all winter is coming soon. 

"S-so MC, I know you keep saying I'm bugging you about this b-" oh I already know where this is going "-ut I feel like you don't go outside enough!" Yep, I called it.  
"Well, you know me Sayori. I'm always busy with other things, I don't have time for sports or clubs or any other after-school activity." I'm just hoping this finally justifies my reasoning for being lazy but-  
"Inside doing what? You know you can't be inside all day playing video games or reading manga, I will not allow you to become a NEET, MC. And as much as I would love for you to put yourself forward and join a club, I would also just love being outside with you more often like we did when we were in elementary school." She doesn't care if I join a club or not, thank god- wait what was that last part.

I try not to focus on what she says at the end, rather thinking more of actually joining a club to maybe just keep her happy. If I do join a club, which would I even go to? Most clubs are everyday after school at the building, but that wouldn't really leave much time for manga and homework. Just homework.

"MC?" Again caught off-guard.  
"Sorry, spacing out again," i sigh to myself, what club to join.  
"Jeez sometimes I feel like your worse than me at that hehe," Sayori teasing me? Oh no way she's getting away with this!

I pull Sayori close to me and wrap my arm around her neck, and start to give her a soft nuggie, trying to not be to hard. She's laughing and trying her best to squirm away.

"Calling me a NEET is awfully funny for someone who's the vice-President of a book club!" Two can play this game, Sayori.  
"Now apologize!"-"Ok ok ok ok! I'm sorry MCCCC please let go!!" She can't even hold in her laughing, and at this point neither can I. Letting go of her she recollects herself and checks her uniform to see if I made any damages. It looked as fine as it did before. It was actually kinda dirty if you ask m-

"Hey, you know. You can join my club~!" Huh? Why would I want to join a club about reading books, I'm not the most academically sound person? Well I guess neither is Sayori, her even less than me. I've often had to help her with homework.  
"Sayori... a book club? I mean, you know I'm not a big reader," she clearly looks offended by this.  
"MC, it's not just books, it's all types of literature! Manga, music, poetry, everything!" This kinda catches my attention-  
"There's even a girl there who reads manga, just like you! Maybe you two could get along," did I catch a hint of sadness at the end of that sentence?

The literature club, I mean is it the worst idea in the world? Maybe, but on the other hand why not just join the anime club? Maybe joining any club would make Sayori happy, or at least satisfied. Then again, if I join I would get to spend more time with Sayori and we can start walking home together again like we did years ago.

"I-umm. I also told the club members that a new member would be joining today~" Oh Sayori why do you get me caught up these things!  
"Sayori, you know you can't make promises that you know you can't keep!"  
"Well, you're going to help me keep this one, right?" Oh god she's giving me the puppy eyes, what do I do?  
"... Ok, I'll drop by but I am not making any promises I'll be joining, o- ah!" Sayori is hugging me while jumping up and down- "THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!"  
"Say-Sayori ok ok come on!" I can't help but laugh while trying to set her down and stop jumping. She can act like such a kid sometimes it's adorable.

We finally start to come in sight of the school, as well as other students, all filing through the gate. Eventually me and Sayori reach said gate and are standing at the courtyard. Our first classes are opposite from each other in the school.

"Ok, so I promise to go to the club room and check it out, alright?" I reassure Sayori before we part ways.  
"Ok! And thank you so much MC, you won't regret it!" She says while giving me a quick hug. I notice some people are staring.  
"Bye MC!"-"Bye Sayori." I walk in the other direction after returning the hug and waving goodbye.

Today is going to be a long, long day.


	2. Hanging Around

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> MC's day at school is long and filled with nerve racking sweats. Is he actually going to even think of attending a club meeting? He probably would rather join the anime club or just settle for going home, maybe Sayori will forget by the end of the day. Hopefully for his sake, she will.

I swear the clock doesn't move fast enough. Lunch goes by fast, science goes by fast, history goes by fast. Every single class except math. I'm wondering if it's because what may or may not happen after this, or because I hate this subject. I'm gonna go with both. 

Looking around the room I can tell everyone else is just as anticipated as I am to get out of here, even the teacher looks like he wants to go home and I don't blame him. Math sucks.

I feel somewhat like I keep pushing back what's gonna happen in a few minutes, and I don't think I'm prepared for it whatsoever. Am I really gonna go to this club meeting? I don't think I have much of an option, Sayori will probably drag me by the ears if she has to.

RIIIINNNGG "Ah!" Everyone is gone already?

D-did everyone leave class early and no one told me? Wow, some good friends I have here. While they don't know they could have just saved me from what's to come. Getting up from my chair I take a long stretch and grab my papers. I stuff them into the folder and then stuff said folder into my very messy backpack. Taking a glance I find the breakfast bar I never ate in the morning, I just ate the school breakfast.

Taking the bar out of the bag I flip it in the air and- miss it. I squat down to pick it up and sigh while doing so. Yea really good hand eye coordination, MC. I toss the bar into my pocket and grab my bag, tossing it over my shoulder and begin to walk towards the door. Then something somewhat pretty catches my eye.

There's a bulletin board with way to many pieces of paper on it, some with official school announcements, here's the lunch menu, and finally clubs and other after school activities. It's filled with plain white paper sheets with little lines where you right your name to join the club, or at least pledge to come to the next meeting. It's all rather generic and boring if you ask me. Then there's the other paper that caught my attention.

Well, it's very pink. Colorful, offers a small description and uses tear-off papers instead of the previous lines. I'm not really sure how effective this whole tear-off thing is working for them considering not a single one has been taken, it's kinda sad. 'Literature Club'-'Here at the literature club we offer,' blah blah 'and the opportunity to feel comfortable in a,' yea I get it 'with meetings on every day!' Everyday... ''Sayori what did you drag me into' seriously, I don't think anyone there will like me or even- I can't help but lay my head on the board, sigh, and chuckle at the same time. Oh Sayori...

Something jolts my shoulder and I quickly turn to see it's just Sayori. I hope I wasn't speaking aloud when I said 'what did you drag me into,' cause I'm sure she would just be absolutely annoyed at me.

"Hi MC! Are you ready to go?" I'm guessing she didn't hear me or I didn't say it outloud.  
"Sayori, I'd be lying if I said I was ok with this. I just don't know."  
"MC please, I know this is my fault but at least check the club out I know you will enjoy it. And if you don't, you can blame it all on me," 'blame it all on me?' Isn't that a bit overdramatic? I'm still on the edge either way.  
"T-there will be cupcakes! One of the members made them for you!" Oh? Well now my interest has somewhat peaked again. Kinda. Somewhat. Not really man wow this is still tough. But if it makes Sayori happy, then I'll play along.  
I turn my head and tilt it to look like a puppy, trying to make Sayori at least smile from her saddened look. "Cupcakes?"

I get more than what I could have ever asked for, a laugh. At least I know she's in a good mood again.  
"Alright, I'll uhh-" still nervous, still chocking on my words "-I'll check out the club for you. And the cupcakes." I hope she doesn't think I'm doing this just for the cupcakes and wanted to make it very clear to her that. Nonetheless, she still looks overly happy for a simple yes. Almost like a- woah! "Sayori calm down a little!" She's hugging me again and jumping up and down like she was in the morning. I settle her down again but instead of backing away like she did in the morning she-

Ehh..? This is a bit weird. She's just resting her head on my chest while holding onto me- I uh. What do I do? I guess I should just- I grab onto her lower back and head and deepen the hug. Is this making it weirder? Is this the right or wrong thing to do? Uuuuh... 

Slowly Sayori backs away and I notice her face is extremely red. Did I do something wrong to embarrass her? Real smooth MC, again. "Let's go to the Clubroom, Sayori. You lead the way!"-"Ooki Doki MC!" There was a bit of a voice crack there, heh.

Sayori leads the way through the halls, almost dancing as she walks. She twirls and skips and hops around. Everything about her movements, her laugh, her smile. It's just so cu- wait what am I saying? I can feel my own face getting red before stopping in the middle of the hallway after Sayori stands in front of me, blocking the way.

She slowly lifts her hand up to my forehead. Is she trying to check my temperature?  
"Sayori, what are you doing?" I can't help but laugh at her attempt to see if I'm sick.  
"Well you woke up late, and keep losing focus and now your face is burning up. Or at least looks it."  
"Sayori, I'm fine I swear. Let's just keep going to the club, ok?"  
"Hmpf, ok but you're sure you are ok?"-"I'm positive I'm fine, now Cmon." I found Sayori saying I woke up late to be somewhat hypocritical, she often wakes up late. I don't think I'll bring it up anytime soon though, I really don't want to annoy her and I haven't been trying to much to ensure that.

We eventually arrive at the third year section of the high school. Man, I haven't been here in a good while. Almost a year now. While Sayori waltzed onwards I take a few good looks around the hallway, remembering some of the good and some of the bad. Thankfully since I kept my head low I don't remember to much of the bad, but I will always cherish the moments me and Sayori had here in this hall. Be that just walking to go get snacks, laying next to eachother on the benches, just talking before heading back to class. Anything with her is such a treat.

Sayori stops in front of a door and swings it wide open, not even waiting for me to be within ten feet of said door. I can't believe I sold my afternoon of manga and games for a single cupcake. Is it worth it so far? Yes, I got to see a big smile on Sayori's face.

I walk in the room behind Sayori still holding a grin from going down memory lane. Then-  
"Everyone, welcome the new club member!"-"S-Sayori! Don't call me that, I-"   
"Really Sayori, a boy? Way to ruin the mood." Oh boy this isn't gonna be very fun is it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Really sorry for posting this days later than the first post. Excuses are on the first day I wrote about a quarter of the chapter then disliked the entire thing and was gonna rewrite it the next day. The next day I got high and watched streams and TV shows forgetting about it. After that I again forgot when watching a stream, and same thing after. But here we are just about. Sorry for taking so long!


	3. Your Face in the Glass

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> MC is finally introduced to the entire club, enjoys some cupcakes, and quite frankly is still as scared as he was when the day began. Hopefully that'll change by the end of the day!

"Natsuki, that is no way to treat a new member. Hello, I am Yuri," Yuri seems somewhat tall compared to the other girls, almost as tall as me. So I guess that makes the short tempered girl Natsuki then.  
"Ah, MC what a pleasant surprise!" Eh? This girl seems somewhat familiar- ah that's why. This is Monika, probably the most popular girl in the whole school. Athletic, smart, name the skill and she's got it.  
"H-hey Monika, it's been a while," truth be told I don't know what to say in this situation. I feel a little backed into a corner.

While all of this is happening Sayori seems rather quiet. It seems like she's almost rating each girl's introduction. I don't think Natsuki scored very high.  
Almost as if on queue, Sayori skips over between Yuri and Natsuki. "This is Natsuki, always so full of energy, and this is Yuri the smartest club member!"-"Don't say things like that.." I guess Yuri has a hard time keeping up with Sayori, and probably Natsuki too.  
"It's uh, It's very nice to meet you two." Despite the lackluster introduction.

"And you and Monika were in a class together last year right? MC talked about you sooooo much!" Eh?! "S-Sayori!" Of course she can only giggle at my expense here, and so do the other girls. Although Monika doesn't laugh, she just continues to smile sweetly at me.  
"Alright MC Cmon, we setup a table for the meeting," at the center of the room is just a collection of desks put together to form a somewhat odd looking table. Some desks are either shorter or lower, giving it an unbalancing look and probably feel too.

Looking around this room I see how well kept it is, I don't think it's just for the club. It wouldn't surprise me if this was also a classroom. My suspicions are further confirmed when I reach the table itself, there is scribbling on a few desks and there are some things on the teacher's desk that a student like Monika wouldn't own. Like a picture frame or apple pencil holder.

Ah. I don't really know where to sit. There are two seats I can take really, one next to Monika and one next to Sayori. I think I'll choose the one next to my best friend, but what if there's a chance I can simply make a new friend just by sitting next to Monika? Sayori- she gives me a nod almost confirming I should sit next to Monika.  
Ah who's kidding me, I'm a coward. I take the seat next to Sayori and I think I just heard a disgruntled sigh come from her, although she didn't do well at concealing it from me.

"Here, let me go get the tea," Yuri gets up to get the drinks and I'm surprised they honestly let them have a tea set in the room.  
"Ooo, I'll get the cupcakes!"-"Hey! I made them, I'll get them!" Ah Sayori, excited as always. I guess she's a little hungry. I can't help but giggle as she slowly sits back down with an embarrassed look on her face, and I guess she noticed I was laughing. "Hey meanie, this is no laughing matter!" I can hear a slight chuckle come from Monika.

As the two walk back the thought pops back in my mind.  
"I'm surprised they let you guys have a tea set in the room."-"Ah well, we got special permission from the teacher and..." I notice how Yuri is both looking towards me and pouring a cup, perfectly filling it without even looking to see if it's full. I guess she's good at multitasking. "... we always put it away at the end of the day so the next day no one tinkers with it while we're not here," sliding me and everyone else their cups I take a sip. It's somewhat hot, but it smells and tastes amazing. I should ask what type this is for my own house.

Just as I'm about to speak up again Natsuki sets down her cup of tea and hovers her hand over the tray of what is apparently cupcakes, like she's almost waiting for everyone to pay attention to do a grand reveal. Actually that is exactly what she's doing, heh.

"TA-DA!" Just as everyone sets their eyes upon the tray, she lifts up the cover and reveals several delicious looking cupcakes as well as a bunch of napkins.  
"OOOOO!" Sayori instantly lunges for one, get her grasp is foiled by a slap on the hand by Natsuki. "Uh-uh-uh, I will hand them out," Sayori begins to rub her hand, it didn't hurt that much did it. As she sets her hand down below the table, still rubbing it I hold her hand and begin to rub the slightly red spot with my thumb.

Judging by the surprised look and quiet noise she made, she didn't expect this. Sayori begins to look down and away from me, to which Monika looks in my direction then our hands and giggles. She gives Sayori a pat on the shoulder and whispers something in her ear. What's she saying?  
Sayori turns back to me, yet still looking away. Did I do something wrong? Eh- something is. Ah, Sayori is holding tighter onto my hand. I stop rubbing the now gone red spot and hold tighter too. This- feels nice.

"Annnd here. Dig in!" Just as Natsuki gives Monika her cupcake I slowly begin to let go of Sayori's hand to grab mine, yet she refuses to let go almost looking scared.  
"Sayori, are you alright?"-"Y-yea, just enjoying the vie- the uh... wow these cupcakes look great Natsuki!" Sayori lets go of my hand, yet I notice how she still looks somewhat upset up until Natsuki responds. "Well of course, they were made by moí."

"Mmfphh, theh tashte good too!" Everyone giggles at Sayori being silly, and while doing so I grab my own cupcake. It's a chocolate cupcake with white frosting, there's a pink wrapper and on the frosting there is a cute little design using what I assume is chocolate pieces from some type of candy. It's made to look like a little cat face. Whiskers, eyes, mouth, and ears. It's adorable.  
It's almost tough to find a good place to take a bite from, seeing how I want the absolute most out of this. I don't wanna just consume the entire thing in three bites, I wanna savor this delicious looking thing.

I turn it around and begin to unwrap it, as I'm about to take a bite I see Natsuki glancing at me. I guess she's waiting to see if I'll like it. I take a small bite, taking a bit of chocolate and frosting, and of course cupcake, into my mouth. "Mmm, this is great Natsuki."-"Well I- thanks..."

I hear Monika set down her teacup and then see her look towards me. Oh god is she gonna- "So MC, what made you join the club?" I knew it. The question I've been dreading to avoid, I can't just say Sayori dragged me here now can I?  
"Ah, w-well. I've been looking for clubs and I knew how Sayori was here and I thought maybe that I could spend more time with h- I uh mean just. Find something new to do! Yea..." And a really good save for myself and Sayori from embarrassment! Nice one MC!  
"Ah, not much of a reader?" Thank you Yuri for saving Sayori from embarrassment, now to save myself.  
"Well, that can change," what am I saying? Wow, every time I have spoken these past few minutes I get dumber and dumber.

"Well, everyone has a favorite genre or type of book so what do you like? Horror, romance, anything like that?" Not the most romantic person, and solid eh on horror really but- I cant really say this can I? I mean Sayori said someone here did read Managa, but who? Not Monika surely, maybe Yuri or Natsuki? If it's Yuri then she won't be ashamed to talk to me, but I'm sure Natsuki will get a kick out of it and tease me. If it's the other way around then Natsuki and I can maybe share a bond over something, anything, but then I'm guessing Yuri won't be the biggest fan of me seeing as Manga ain't the most 'book' thing ever.  
Well MC, it's really simple. All you have to do is just say 'I like Manga.' That's it, confidently. Then watch both their reactions.

"M-manga?" Jesus Christ that was embarrassing, I can feel my face getting red. Yuri looks suddenly saddened but Natsuki peaks her head up, although she stays quiet. I guess we know who likes Manga in the club. "Well! Anyways, uh what do you like to read, Yuri?" Quick thinking for once, MC.  
Yuri takes a sip of tea and sets the cup down, tracing the rim with her finger while pondering on one of her favorite genres. It must be a tough choice considering how many different genres she probably reads.

"I guess I'm far more into Surreal Horror than I am any other genre," I did not expect that from someone as quiet and shy as Yuri. I don't think the others did either, as they all seem just as surprised. I think Yuri took notices of this too after a second, and with all eyes on well...  
"Uh, I uh I mean," I guess she's having a tough time justifying why she loves it so much. "Yuri, I wouldn't have expected someone like yourself to be into horror whatsoever." Monika seems to be the least surprised.  
"W-well. Surreal Horror is just so good at explaining everything so thoroughly. It can really lead you into the story and wonderfully tell each event so well it scares you just by reading it." I think by looking at Natsuki she was the most surprised. "Uuugh. I hate horror," she crosses her arms saying this somewhat quietly, but it's obvious everyone hears her.

"Ah, that's right Natsuki you like cute things don't you?" I can hear Natsuki go 'huh?' as Monika says this. "I found this at the last club meeting, I think you left it behind, hehe."-"M-Monika! Give me back my poem, I mean! Give it back, this isn't funny!" Natsuki practically jumps out of her seat and speeds over to Monika, snatching the paper from her hands and tucking it into her own pocket as she walks back to her seat. After sitting down, a resounding pout can be seen on her face.  
"You write your own poems, Natsuki?" It does interest me ever so slightly though, poetry. I wasn't that good at it in my classes, yet nonetheless I found them to be sorta fun to make.  
"Y-yea, why do you care?"  
"Well, I just find that pretty impressive. I was never really good at making them myself..." a sudden idea pops in my head.  
"Hey, we can maybe exchange poems, I wouldn't mind learning new skills or anything like that!"-"N-no! You. You wouldn't like my poems or anything," I guess there goes that plan.

"I don't blame Natsuki for not wanting to share, writing poetry is something that you have to really put your heart into, and even more so when you share it with others." Yuri seems somewhat calm, maybe she can help me get better at writing?  
"You write as well Yuri? Maybe you can set an example for Natsuki so she can feel more comfortable sharing as well," I guess Monika had a similar idea as me, although Yuri's calm demeanor from before changed to nervous instantly. "Ah... I have an idea. Ok Everyone!" Monika stands up and snaps her fingers.

"Let's all go home and write poems of our own, and that way we can all share together tomorrow!" Natsuki and Yuri's look of previous questioning turned to near panic.  
"Monika!" Yuri sounds like she's gonna object, but is stopped by Sayori.  
"Monika that sounds like a great idea! I can't wait to read everyone's poems tomorrow!"  
"And with a new club member, it can be a way to get to know each other even better. What do you think MC?" Ah, all eyes on me now. Yet throughout all of this, there has been a slight problem.

"I uh... I never said I would join this club," wow that came out blunter than I meant it to be. And the girls took notice to that.  
One by one they all look away and a bit saddened by both my choice of words and what I had to say. Gah, how am I supposed to make a clear headed decision with the conscious of each of them on my mind! Although like I thought before, maybe this is a chance to make new friends and to finally be able to hangout with Sayori once more. I guess I have only one option.

"Alright, then I've just decided. I'm joining the literature club!" All at once each of the girls eyes light up, and Sayori practically dives into me while saying 'thank you' and hugging ever so tightly on my waist.  
"I'm glad you decided to stay."  
"If you came here for just the cupcakes, then I would have kicked your butt!"  
"Welcome to the Literature Club, MC. It'll be great with a new member here, and we can finally be recognized as an official club!"

As Sayori holds onto me I look at the other girls and can't help but smile. I hold onto Sayori with my left hand while keeping my right hand free. I feel like I'm gonna have a good time here. Thank you Sayori for showing me this place.


	4. I Lost Myself

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A peaceful walk home with Sayori, enjoying the sun and getting a little hungry. Then a not so peaceful time attempting to write a poem. Really could of used some help there, MC.

Today was a good day, and I have to thank Sayori for that. I still actually haven't done that yet, as I know she'll probably rub it in my face that she was right. But maybe she won't.  
We left the school just moments ago after saying our goodbyes to everyone in the club. No better time than now I guess.

"Sayori, I just wanted to say uh. Thank you. I had a good time on my first day, and I'm really looking forward to the next few days. Even if I'm nervous about writing something actually good," She doesn't immediately respond, rather leaning her head on me as we walk and holding my arm. "I'm happy you're happy." Yea, guess I was wrong.

Almost a block away now Sayori slowly lets go of my arm and takes her head off my shoulder, I'm kinda sad. It felt nice. I can't stop thinking about the next day, or the events of today. What if I didn't go, and hadn't met everyone? Now that I think of that, everyone at the club was just so kind. Even Natsuki as she did bake cupcakes for me after all. I guess Sayori is thinking about how the day went as well, she's just as quiet as I am. 

Or maybe she's just enjoying the sun, her head up and eyes closed as she prances along next to me, arms swinging as she goes. Why do I feel sick all of a sudden? Just looking at her makes me feel dizzy, when she held my arm, my hand, me. It felt better than it did when we were kids. Ah! I should stop thinking about this, before I get even more sick.

A few more blocks till we get to our neighborhood. By this time I'm starting to think of the girls. Sayori, Yuri, Natsuki, and of course, Monika. Such an unexpected mix of personalities in one group, yet somehow friends. I wonder how I'm gonna possibly fit in this already seemingly misfit group, with the exception of Monika of course. 

I'm still somewhat surprised Monika even decided to leave whatever major club she was in to form her own small one, and it didn't even get enough members to be officially be recognized till I joined. Although I guess literature doesn't exactly scream 'fun' to many people, didn't for me either. Only reason I joined was for Sayori, but ultimately not a single regret in doing so.

Ugh, only a block away then I can shower and eat something. That cupcake didn't entirely satisfy me, infact it left me wanting more. It was just too good. Oh, wait! I reach into my pocket and grab the breakfast bar, and I think Sayori immediately took notice of it.

"Heyyy MC, you know I think I should maybe get a reward for introducing you to the club. Maybe something simple like, ohhh I don't know, a granola bar?" Yea, she definitely took notice. I wouldn't mind teasing her a little bit, just a bit.  
"A reward huh?" I begin to unwrap the, well, wrapper. I look away from Sayori while doing so, just so I couldn't see her puppy eyes.  
"Mhm!" I can hear how much she's pouting from that single sound.

Taking a sudden stop, I take the bar out of the wrapper. "Well then you're gonna have to get it, as a final challenge," I put the bar into my mouth, leaving a somewhat large portion out seeing if Sayori would try to snatch it. Sayori isn't entirely impressed by my teasing, and crosses her arms. She's walking up to me now, I think she's gonna-

Ehh!? She's- I uh. Our faces are centimeters apart. Sayori decided that grabbing it wasn't enough, she hopped up and pulled my head down to grab a bite. This feels really strange, like how it did minutes ago. Our eyes just staring into each other, it feels like she's waiting for something. What do I do here? She suddenly chews the piece off and backs away slowly, a somewhat sad looking smile on her face.

"I win."-"Wh- Y-Yea. You win this time." I don't really know what to say in this situation, hell I don't know what to feel right now. Sayori begins to walk along like nothing happened. I swallow the rest of the breakfast bar and walk along with her.

Eventually we reach our houses, Sayori gives me a hug and I return it before we part ways. God this feels just. Odd. I'm already on my couch, just pondering on what happened mere moments ago. I hope this isn't what I think it is, cause if it is then I know I'm in for a heartbreak. I think I have a crush on Sayori.

I just gotta- think. Of something else. Mom and Dad aren't home yet, and probably won't be for a while, so I should probably find something to do. I don't want to start working on the poem now, not with my mind so full of thoughts. I don't wanna watch TV, I know I won't focus on it. And I don't think I really want to eat anything, not after what happened. Maybe I'm just overreacting.

Sighing, I stand up and walk towards the stairs and then up to my room, face as red as it was when on those final moments on the walk home. I go into my room and sit on my bed, I want to peak into Sayori's room to see if she's just as bewildered as me, but knowing her she probably thought nothing of it. There's a set of clothes here and a towel, I probably should go shower. It was a long day. Grabbing the towel, I also grab my phone.

I set my phone on the sink and toss the towel on the rack. I turn the shower on to something that feels just right, and let it get warm. While it's getting warm I guess I should find a good song. Sitting on the toilet seat, I grab my phone and turn it on then begin to scroll through my apps till I find my one music app. I open it and scroll even more to find a playlist I like, playing it then setting it back down onto the sink. While a song starts up I take off my school uniform and toss it aside onto the floor.

First I hum to the song while I feel if the shower is warm enough, then I whisper the words as I begin to climb in, next I feel almost like an actual artist singing in the shower. Although it's hard to hear my voice over the fan and shower, I'm sure it's very bad singing. Despite taking years of chorus, I was a solid eh.

Many songs later I repeat my morning process of cleaning myself, although this time I'm more thorough with cleaning and drying. Towel around my waste I walk back to my room and toss it aside, slipping on the clothes I left in my bed. Ah much more comfortable.

I decide to just lay in my bed with some music playing. It feels like hours as I sing, hum, or just listen. Music has always been something special to me, so I hope it can maybe help me write the poem later tonight. Looking to my alarm clock I see it has been hours, I climb out of bed quickly and zip over to my backpack, opening it and grabbing my folders and other paperwork out to start working on homework. Setting everything onto my desk I sit down and look forward. I left the window open, the one at my desk. The one that sits right across from Sayori's window. I really, really hope I wasn't loud enough to bother her. Or embarrass myself.

Many many more hours later, I'm done. No more homework, assignments, studying, whatever. At least for today, it's only the beginning of the week. Although, there is still one more assignment that needs to be done. I slip out my favorite pen and grab my notebook, opening it to an empty page. What to write about?

Poetry is an amazing thing, something that can be so simple or so complex, so sad or happy. What can I even begin to think about writing of? My head turns up and forward. Maybe? But wouldn't it be weird?  
I mean it doesn't have to be romantic, just a friend thing of course. I mean who said anything about romance between us two? We're just friends is all. I can't help but sigh at my own statement.

I can't believe I have a crush on my best friend. How am I supposed to write with something like this on my mind? There can be only one way to get this out of my head, I gotta write about it. It'll get it off my mind, maybe. Either that or it will just push the problem for future MC to deal with tomorrow.

Moving the pen, crumbling failed attempts, listening to songs that could set the mood of each poem. I think I finally got something I like. I just hope Sayori will like it more than I do.

I sit up and tuck all the homework away, putting the poem into the folder and then putting it all away to my bag. Sayori probably finished her poem hours ago, it wouldn't surprise me if she was really good at this. She's always so expressive with things.

I kick the bag into my door and jump into my bed. Thinking about one thing, one person, one girl. Tomorrow is certainly going to be a very different experience.


	5. This Goes Beyond Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Waking up early this time, MC tries to keep his face not red as he explains his current situation with his parents. At school on the other hand it's more about thinking of the club rather than the work.

"Ughhh," Huh? What time is it, the alarm hasn't even gone off? Wow, bit early but at least I can get some time to prepare. Maybe Mom and Dad haven't left for work yet.

Let's see here... I get out of bed and walk over to the door, moving my bag out the way. Opening it I peak outside to see a light on downstairs as well as some noise. Guess they're home. But before I do anything, I need to shower.

Walking over to my drawers I grab my school uniform and toss it on my bed, then walk out of my room and to the closet next to the bathroom, grabbing a clean towel out of it. I walk into the bathroom and repeat the same steps I did the day before, just slower and unlike the afternoon without music. Phone needs to charge after all.  
I climb out the shower and walk over to the sink, doing another check if I need to shave but once again, not at all. I'm lucky that I don't grow much face hair, otherwise I'd be shaving daily.

I walk back to my room, towel 'round waist, and close the door behind me. Towel now on the floor I climb into my underwear and socks, then my uniform. It feels odd to wear it so early before school, but whatever. Not like I'm gonna wear casual clothes then change out of them later. 

Hmm. Peaking through Sayori's window I can see she's still in bed. You would think just about now would be a good time to get ready, perfect for walking to school on the clock. Yet of course she's still in bed, lazy as usual. Maybe I really should wake her up?

Gah, I can feel my face turning red again. I should focus on that later, I need something to eat. I grab my bag and sling it over my shoulder after snatching my phone off the stand. Going downstairs there is still noise coming from the kitchen, and peaking around the corner I see my Father cleaning some dishes. My Mother is at the kitchen island that connects the Kitchen and Living Room, on a stand reading a magazine. She takes immediate notice of me when I turn the corner.

"Ah, MC good morning!" She climbs out of her seat and rushes over to me, giving me a deep hug. "Morning Mom, glad I could catch you guys before you head off to work." It is always sad whenever I can't see them, and sometimes I don't for days on end.  
"MC, take a seat I made some simple stuff before work and school," bacon and eggs. A simple yet absolutely delicious meal if done correctly, and my Dad knows how to do it correctly. I take my seat on the island and he serves me a plate with a glass of water. "Thanks Dad-" I take a bite and chew then swallow it down, "-So how has work been?"

"Work, ah busy more now than ever. It always jumps up this season, and since its the start, I'm sorry to say we won't be around to much." Knowing this beforehand doesn't make it any more upsetting to hear it aloud.  
"How has school been treating you? Talk to any girls, or"-"Mom!" I only get a laugh from both of them as a reaction. I guess I should tell them.  
"W-well I've joined a club," both gasp. I know I'm still surprised I joined one too. "And th-theres uh. Well there are no guys in it other than me, and there's four other girls." I feel like I know what's gonna come next.  
"Have you asked one out yet?"-"No Dad, I've only been there since yesterday and I only know two girls from beforehand."

"Ah who are these two girls, do we know them?"  
"The first girl you guys don't know, her name is Monika. She's pretty popular around the school and she runs the club. T-then uh," my face is getting red again, isn't it?  
"The other girl is uhm." "Is it Sayori?" I knew they would guess correctly, they probably hadn't even need to think.  
"Yes." I keep my head down, knowing how the aftermath of me saying 'yes' will make my Mother jump higher than the sky.  
"Ohhhh my baby boy is finally spending more time with her again." Ah, I was right. Ghhtk I can't breath by how hard she's hugging me! "M-mom please."-"I'm just so happy, you haven't told us about her in so long! How is she? How's her parents? Maybe we should meet up at the park like we used to!" She lets go of my yet still hangs near, probably expecting what I'm gonna say next to give me another bear hug.

"I uh, I think I have a crush on her," I can hear my voice crack at those last few words. Once again being squeezed to death, my dad stops what he's doing and walks over.  
"I was wondering how long it would take," he had a coffee mug in his hand, and he sips it as he leans onto the island. "What do you mean, Dad?"  
"You liking Sayori, or at least telling us. So what are you gonna do about it?" I hadn't really thought of it, although I did just discover my feelings yesterday. "I don't know... maybe I can do something at the upcoming festival?"  
"That's a plan, here why don't I go pick some stuff up later on my way home from work to help you out. Flowers, some nice clothes, maybe some sweets she likes?" I feel flattered but I know the flowers would be dead by then, I need to pick out my own clothes, and I'm not entirely sure if any of the stores will still be open by the time he gets home.  
"It's alright Dad, I got it handled, and I'll figure it out as I go along. Thank you." He gives me a pat on the back as he also gestures my Mom to let go of my poor stomach.

"Alright, we have to head off, behave and remember to always act like a gentlemen."-"I got it dad, don't worry." They both walk out the door and drive off. Home alone again for who knows how long. I finish my plate and empty the glass of water into my stomach. Cleaning up after myself I notice it's almost time to leave.

I grab my bag and toss it over my shoulder, turning off the kitchen lights and sink before I leave. Locking the house door behind me, I notice once more Sayori is late. I get we started walking together again relatively recently, but this is getting ridiculous.

Walking up to Sayori's house, the porch is somewhat decorated with cute little things. Garden Gnomes here and there, a little reindeer they haven't taken down yet. Might as well stay up, Christmas is coming up in a month or so.  
I knock on the front door, hoping one of her parents are home but knowing them they are just as busy as mine, if not more. Another knock, another minute of silence. Cmon Sayori, we can't be late again.

I know where they keep the spare key, so I take it and unlock the door. I'm not gonna go in, just say her name really loudly. That's not to weird is it? Just making sure she's not late is all. That's it!  
"s-Sayori?" No response. I haven't got all day, all or nothing this is no big deal cmon MC!  
I enter the house and walk around. It's so different than it was years ago. It used to be messy on account of Sayori being a very bouncy child. Where did the years go? I guess I'm to blame. I've pushed her away from me.

"Sayori? We have to get to school, come on before we're late again." I'm at her door, and I feel like I shouldn't even think of entering. Alright this is, this is just me waking up a friend or seeing if they're ready. That's all.  
I gently open the door...

"... piece of crap. That's all you- WH~" I think I took her by surprise. I think I also fucked up.  
"M-MC! What are you doing here?"-"Sayori I came here to tell you we're gonna be extremely late if we don't hurry up. I'm sorry if this wasn't the best way of doing it, but I really don't want us to be late again."  
"Oh..." Why does she look so hurt by that statement? Did I say something wrong?

I grab Sayori's bag off the floor and carry it over my other shoulder, not good compensation for barging into her room, but it's the little things. "Here, lets go." I extend my hand out to hers, she takes it and we walk out of her room and soon after her house. When we're outside she lets go of my hand to lock her house.

"So, are you as excited as I am to share the poems?" Don't really know what to say to this. Am I excited to share, yes, but I'm also as nervous to let her down. What if she doesn't like my poem?  
"Well, I'm excited to see yours, and the others too. Although I'm not very confident in my writing skills as you probably are in yours."  
"If you aren't confident in your skill, then I will be. I know for a fact your poem is great, and I don't even need to read it to know that." Thank you Sayori, always know what to say to make me feel better.

My mind wanders back to just a few minutes ago, when I walked into Sayori's room. Who was she talking to? Whoever it was I'm guessing she doesn't like very much. I'm also thinking about my own actions, or rather inaction here. Why didn't I just text or call her instead of barging into her room? I swear I'm as dull as a rock sometimes.

I feel something try to clasp onto my hand as we're walking, and I see it's Sayori. Ok, just gotta be calm. We did this so many times as kids and recently, literally yesterday I think. Just hold onto her hand. It's easy, MC.  
I open my hand and allow for hers to take place, closing it and holding onto hers with as gentle of a squeeze I can do so I don't hurt her. Meanwhile Sayori is holding onto my hand almost like she's scared she'll lose sight of me.

I hold on just a bit tighter, just to reassure her. I'm not goin nowhere.

The rest of the walk is quiet, she nor I say a word. Her head decided to rest on my shoulder when we came into sight of the school. At the courtyard, she slowly let go after a minute and pulled me into a hug. It helped the cool morning brighten up just enough to bring a smile to both our faces as I returned the hug. We depart and I make my way to my class.

In the halls I catch wind of a certain short pink-haired girl at the water fountain. Should I say hi now that I somewhat know her, or just leave her be? No harm in saying hi to people, I guess.  
"Hey Natsuki, how d-oof!" A quick shove moved me out the way of Natsuki's path. Guess she wasn't in a good mood.

I walk the rest of my way to class, not seeing anyone else I know along the way. I'm not a very social person, and the only person I've kept serious contact was with, of course, Sayori.   
I can't go a second without thinking of a way to ask her out, but again... what if she doesn't like me? What if she says no? Who knew even thinking how to ask someone out would be hard, I can only imagine how hard the dating part must be!

I take a seat in the class and wait for my name to be called for roll call. When it comes up I raise my arm and give a low grunt. Not because I'm annoyed, just thinking on other things. Or people rather. Boy I really hope the club likes my writing and doesn't toss it aside as low effort trash. It may be trash, but I worked hard on this paper.

Laying my head on the desk I begin to drift off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry I know it's a big meme with every fanfic to include "I gently open the door," but I swear to god that's the only thing I'll do. Maybe.


	6. You Reel Me Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ah it is time to share poems, as well as it being just the first day at the club officially. What can go wrong on a day like this?

End of the day, and thank the lord the end of math. I doubt Sayori will be here this time for me, seeing as how I know where the club is now. All I need to do is hype myself up. I need water too.

Walking out of the classroom I walk to the bathrooms, and just outside them is the water fountains. I bend over and take a long drink. This is gonna be easy, Sayori even said it. She'll like your poem no matter what. What about the other club members though? What if she was just being nice to not be rude or anything cause we're friends? Ah jeez... let's just get a move on, MC.

I walk through the halls, up the stairs, and arrive in the club hall. Outside the door I peer in and see everyone except Natsuki at a glance through the window. Did she go home or something? I try not to think on it and walk into the room, closing the door lightly behind me before the draft from the windows slam it. Almost immediately upon walking into the room everyone takes notice of me, the exact opposite of what I want. 

I guess if I want to be liked here I have to socialize, and it'll make Sayori feel better I bet too. No harm in talking.  
"Ah, MC I'm glad to see you haven't run out on us!" The night is still young, Monika. All though I can't exactly say that, can I? "Don't worry, I'm not going anywhere anytime soon." I'm not so easily scared! Sorta..

"MC, glad to see you didn't leave us so soon. It must the hard to take a dive into something you probably aren't very used to," while it sounded a bit blunt it's true. I'm not well versed in reading, and when I am it's very rare I take a liking to it. I then spot a certain pink-haired girl come out of the back closet, carrying some time of large looking book. Is that manga?

"Oh don't cut him any slack. Sayori told me how you hadn't even thought of joining any clubs, throughout all of high school. So if you do this just for extra credits, or to sleep or something well guess what. You won't hear the end of it, especially from me!" She finishes her statement by setting down the manga on the table next to her.

"Natsuki, you sometimes have a big mouth for someone who keeps their manga in the school closet," Natsuki looks almost distraught by this, meanwhile Monika and Yuri look like they're having a nice laugh.  
"M-m o-angk..." I think Natsuki is stick between saying 'Monika' and 'Manga' seeing how she is looking back and forth between her and the book on the desk. "Manga is literature!" She shouts before grabbing her book and sweeping away back to the closet.

Monika, looking almost proud for teasing Natsuki, strides back to her desk. Meanwhile during all of this, Sayori just walked up to me and Yuri.  
"Don't worry guys-" I guess she's addressing everyone in the room. "-MC is a very reliable person. He always helps me with homework, or even just around my house!" I can't even remember the last time I helped around, maybe she's just putting in the good word for me.

"I don't mind helping clean around or cooking for you Sayori," I say this both as to play along and to hopefully remind her that I really don't mind helping her.  
"Sounds very dependable, I would be lying if I said I wasn't a little jealous. Huhu."-"What do you mean, Yuri? You and MC can be good friends too!" Ah Sayori, you always put me into awkward situations and always pull me out of them. "Yuri even bought you something," it seems like you won't be able to help me out of this one though.

"Sayori! I uh- it's not that..." Both of us are on the spot here, yet I guess Yuri doesn't like it whatsoever. "It isn't as big a deal as Sayori made it out to be..." Honestly the fact someone bought me something on the second day I met them, I'd be hugging them if it wasn't for the fact I was in a room surrounded by girls. Just would make it even more awkward.

"It's alright Yuri. I mean, the fact that you even got me anything is a nice gesture, and I'll be happy no matter what it is." I hope this was reassuring enough, and judging how she calmed down slightly I guess it did.  
"A-alright, heere." Yuri reached down into her bag and pulled out a small paperback book, looks like a relatively short read if you ask me.  
"I got you a book and I was uh, wondering maybe, if you uh. Wanted to discuss it after you read it?" I can see how she's still nervous, but I don't think there's much else I can say other than thank her for it.

"Thank you Yuri, I'll make sure to read it at my own pace and then yea, we can talk about it after of course." She looks a little relieved by this, me accepting the present. I look down at the book and try not to judge it by its cover. It's entirely blue, and the cover is given a style to make it seem fantasy like. It looks like an old journal, and the logo on the front as well as the words is golden. It's a small shield with a sword in front of it. I guess it's about medieval times, or fantasy.

As Yuri walks back to her seat, I put the book away into my bag. Hopefully I can read it later. Sayori had already gone to talk to Monika when I was with Yuri, and it seems Yuri is deep into her book with Natsuki nowhere to be seen, presumably in the closet once again.  
Not entirely sure what I can do right now, I don't really want to read the book but other than that I have nothing else to do except... well, I was slightly restless last night so maybe I can catch some shuteye and no one will notice or care.

I take a seat in the farthest corner of the room and rest my head. "Yaaaaawwnnnn," god I am more tired than I realize. Hmm? Monika and Sayori are somewhat close to my desk, I can overhear them talking..

"I feel like the other clubs are going to do so much better, though." Are they talking about the festival?  
"Well, that's no reason to give up exactly. We just have to find or do something fun. Something that will capture their attention and creative minds." Isn't it a bit late to being doing this? Although I guess the club did become official just yesterday, they probably weren't planning anything before.  
"That still doesn't solve the problem, Monika."  
"Eh? What do you mean?"-"You can have the most fun event in the entire school, yet no one will show up! We need to capture their attention to bring them here, more than we need to during the event."

"I guess you're right, Literature doesn't sound exactly like the most fun event to go to, does it? Hmmm." I wonder as well, what will drag people to an event that they otherwise wouldn't attend..? Oh, fo-  
"Food! We can bring food and tell everyone about it, surely that will drag a bunch of people in to check us out at least," I can hear a stifled laugh come from Monika.  
"What type of food though?"-"Cupcakes! Natsuki can make them for us, she makes the best cupcakes ever!"  
"You didn't suggest cupcakes just so you can have some at the event, right?"  
"W-well, no! Maybe." I try to hide my laugh as to not seem like I'm listening to them, although I don't do so well. Judging as how their conversation continued I guess they didn't hear me.

I'm sorta proud of Sayori, seeing her take something like this so seriously. But, I'm also very tired and I need some rest. I yawn once more before slowly drifting away.

"Ehh-AH!" Jesus! "S-Sayori!" Sayori is right up to my face, and probably checking if I'm sleeping. Which I was-  
"Ehehe, sorry for wa-ait no I'm not!" There's a sudden shift in her tone, from happy to seemingly annoyed.  
"You shouldn't be sleeping here MC, this isn't the napping club!"-"Do we have a napping club?" I ensure to quietly mutter this incase she doesn't laugh, but I manage to get a giggle out of her.

Although after stifling a quick laugh, her mood quickly changes to one of more worry.   
"You're staying up again, aren't you MC? Now that you're in a club you can't be staying up so late to watch anime or read manga!" Gh!  
"Sayori, don't say that so loud!" I look around to catch if anyone heard what Sayori said.  
"It's true, though," I can't argue with it, nor should I try to. It is. While I haven't really done it this week, it is just the start of it and I have been staying up more late in general.  
"I know, I know. Hah, you're always looking out for me Sayori," she points her fingers together and gives a light laugh.

"Ehehe, it's what I'm best at doing!" Yet a bit hypocritical, I feel like now is the appropriate time to bring up her being late so often.  
"And that's exactly the problem, Sayori you don't look out enough for yourself," I think I caught her a bit off guard here.  
"Eh? What do you mean?"-"I mean you're always late to school, or at least waking up. When was the last time you woke up when your alarm clock went off?" She looks a bit hesitant to answer.  
"W-w-well.... I, it's. It's a secret!"   
"Sayori..."-"Ohhh just least gives me the benefit of the doubt," I feel like I can't even do that.

I take a step closer to Sayori. "Look, it's written all over you," her uniform, like it did yesterday, looked messy. Her hair isn't combed, uniform not buttoned, I spot a stain here and there.  
"You clearly rushed this morning, and I bet yesterday morning too," I try to straighten her hair with my fingers to no avail.   
"Ah.."-"You really need a brush for this."   
"I just have a very specific style of hair is all, messy and proud!" As much as it does suit her, it's like I thought before.  
"It's not just that Sayori, here," I straighten her bow out a little bit, and try to clean off what seemingly is a toothpaste stain from her collar.

"No one would notice this stuff, though!"  
"I'm sure everyone does, it's just that no one wants to be mean to you. Thankfully, you have me for that." Sounded kinda blunt, yea, but I meant more so you have me to help you clean up rather than be mean.  
"Meanie," I guess she took it as the way I didn't want her to. My fault for wording it poorly, I guess.  
"Even your blazer, c'mon Sayori. How do you think you're gonna get a boyfriend looking like this?" I- fuck, I just. That was way more blunt than what I just said. Jesus I am such an idiot, she's probably gonna just up and walk away from me.

"Hey, that's super mean!" While when she called me a meanie a moment ago, it was almost jokingly. I think I actually hurt her with this comment. Way to go.  
"Y-you'll thank me later, hah," just play it off as a joke, just play it off as a joke.

I start to button up Sayori's blazer, and I guess she almost forgot about the comment I made a moment ago. Or at least has decided to let go of it for now.  
"Eheheh"-"What's so funny?"  
"We'll, I just find it funny how weird it is to have a friend who does these kind of things," ah jeez I can feel my face burning right now.  
"Y-yea I guess it is a little weird," just act calm...

There's a small silence for a moment. "It's ok though, I'm happy we're like this."  
"... I am too."

I'm at the last button now, and for some reason it's refusing to tighten up and close.  
"Hey, the button might pop watch out," why is this so hard to close?  
"Does this thing even fit you anymore?"  
"It did when I bought it hehe," and I wonder how long ago that was. Probably third year.  
"You know, if you buttoned it up every time you wore it you would notice it didn't fit a while ago."

"And what are you smiling about, anyways?" Sayori has an odd smile on, almost like she's about to say something incredibly wei-  
"It means my boobs got bigger again!" Ah, I uh. Well I was right in thinking she would say something weird.  
"D-don't say that out loud, Sayori," she always was a bit carefree when talking about literally anything.

"A-nyways, here. You look much better now," I take a step back admiring how Sayori looks with her uniform buttoned up and. It looks really weird. Huh, who knew something so small would make such a drastic change in appearance.  
"Uuuuuh, I don't like it. It feels so stuffy!" Sayori quickly undoes each button, there goes all that hard work.  
"Ahhh that's so much better!" She pulls her arms out and twirls around for a second before setting down in front of me.

"So what you're saying is, if I keep my uniform unbuttoned, then I won't get a boyfriend?" Huh, what does that mean?  
"What's the logic in that, and is that even a good thing?"  
"Yes! Because if I had a boyfriend then he wouldn't let you do things like this with me, and besides... you take care of me way better than anyone else ever could," I can hear my heart flutter at that.   
"I-I guess that makes sense then, yea."

"Well, just try waking up a bit earlier," I attempt to bring back our conversation to what it was originally about.  
"Only if you go to bed earlier!" Considering how tired I am going to be after school now, this won't to hard to do.  
"Ok ok, I will. Ha..." I can only laugh at this situation, I think Sayori picks up on it too.  
"We really are better at taking care of eachother than we are ourselves~" 

"You know, you can maybe wake me up in the mornings like you did today," eh? I feel my face turning red again.  
"M-maybe, if you'd like," I think Sayori is caught off guard from my answer seeing as she suddenly turns more red than she did when asking.

"Hhey, do you wanna maybe hang ou"-"Ok everyone!" Monika suddenly interrupts Sayori and everyone else and their activities to address the club. I guess it's time for that dreaded moment.

Poem sharing.  
"Yay! I can't wait to read yours, MC!" Ah Sayori, enthusiastic as always. "Y-yeah, same."  
Monika walks up to us, "MC, you did bring a poem, right?"-"Of course, how could I forget?" Seriously. I wouldn't dare make anyone in this club disappointed, especially Sayori.

"Alright well, why don't you find a partner and start sharing?" Monika walks away while Sayori skips, each to their own bags to pull their poems out of.

Sayori pulls an old green folder stuff to the brim with papers inside, scavenging for a few moments before pulling out a crinkly looking piece of paper with words on both sides, one side being scribbled out.

Monika is much more organized, pulling out a rather new looking composition notebook, and opening it to reveal a neat string of words inside.

Natsuki and Yuri, although reluctantly, Reach into their bags and pull out pieces of paper as well.  
Natsuki's paper seems to have a few doodles on them, as well as it coming from a pink sticker-covered notebook.  
Yuri's comes from a plain piece of what I guess is printer paper, leaving her writing to be almost immediately visible far away.

I reach into my bag, pulling out my folder and subsequently my poem. The poem I worked so dearly on, and hope to god everyone likes. Especially Sayori, since its somewhat for her.

While I can really choose anyone to share with, it's obvious who I'm going to first. I begin walking up to Sayori-


	7. You're Just Like an Angel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> MC shares poems, his feelings, and his money for food! Afterwords it's a rather short walk home with Sayori, and a rather quiet day at the house alone. Maybe he should plan for the festival, what to wear what to buy for a certain someone.

Hm, guess no one decided to share with Sayori, she's sitting by herself. She's just sitting in her desk, eyes closed, clinging onto her poem while basking in the sunlight. Ah, stop starring man. Just walk up and share, she'll like what you made.

Ok, this is gonna be the easiest thing you'll do today, I'm sure the others will probably have way stronger opinions.  
"Hey Sayori, ready to uh trade poems?"-"MC!" Sayori skyrockets out of her seat, and landing right in front of me. She shoves her poem into my chest and quickly snatches mine from my hands, making me react quickly to ensure her poem doesn't fall onto the ground.

Looking at her writing, it's very clean compared to how the paper itself looks, and the poem itself is rather short.  
_The way you glow through my blinds in the morning  
It makes me feel like you missed me.  
Kissing my forehead to help me out of bed.  
Making me rub the sleepy from my eyes._

_Are you asking me to come out and play?  
Are you trusting me to wish away a rainy day?  
I look above. The sky is blue.  
It's a secret, but I trust you too._

_If it wasn't for you, I could sleep forever.  
But I'm not mad._

_I want breakfast. ___

This is sorta.. what's the word? Sad-Happy? I guess I'm a little confused on it, but some of it just doesn't make sense to me. 'If it wasn't for you, I could sleep forever. But I'm not mad,' mad? And what worries me more is that this sunshine, what if it's another person? Does Sayori have a crush on someone or something?? It probably isn't me, what am I even thinking? She's to innocent, to kind, to perfect for me. I shouldn't have even given her my po- "I loved it."

"Huh? You're not just saying that cause it's mine, right?" This is extremely unexpected, yet there's no way she liked it that much.  
"I don't know, it's just, well. I guess I like the uh metaphors and maybe who I think they maybe who reference to?" Her voice changes to a higher pitch when she closed off her sentence. Did she pick up on how I wrote the poem about her? How she makes me feel, how I trust her so dearly?  
"I just think it's special. It's a poem made by you for m, for the club! And-" she clings onto the paper tightly "-I'll never forget it because it's the first poem you wrote that I read! I'm proud of you for writing one too, and not just searching up online or anything."

"Well, I really liked your poem and it's symbolism. Of that special (god saying that makes me feel sick to my stomach) person," I think I'll leave out the part where she could sleep forever. As well as my jealousy.  
"But Sayori, did you make this when you woke up?"  
"Wh-no! Of course not, I spent all night on it. Which is why I slept in this morning." I have my doubts.  
"Despite how much the last line beams 'Sayori,' you should try writing these before you sleep so you don't forget later on. Also did you even eat breakfast, I did sorta rush you this morning?"  
"W-well, no. But it's alright, I can just eat something when I get home," I seriously doubt Sayori will last till we get to our houses.

"Tell you what, when the club is over let's pickup some snacks at the vending machine. I'll pay." Incredibly smooth, right? I know.  
"Really? God I can barley contain my stomach, thank you MC!" Sayori quickly gives me a hug before letting go as a few others in the room take notice.  
"Eheh, you should share with the other members."-"See you in a second, Sayori," I walk away, my poem in hand, over to my next victim of terrible writing. My eyes land on the short, yet intimidating girl. Natsuki.

"Hey Nat, wanna swap?" Nat? I mean I guess it works, just shortening her name is all.  
"Gh! Don't call me that, and- Ugh here just," she puts her poem out in front of me, while I take it and hand mine over, I notice her paper is very neat compared to Sayori's.  
_Monkeys can climb  
Crickets can leap  
Horses can race  
Owls can seek  
Cheetahs can run  
Eagles can fly  
People can try  
But that’s about it. ___

Just like Sayori's, and just like Natsuki herself, the poem is rather short. It's awfully straightforward, giving up. Is there something going on that I, or anyone else even, knows about? This could just be a subject I guess, a topic she wrote about. Or maybe she just felt a bit down when writing it. I liked it overall, simple and, while not exactly sweet, you get what I mean.

"Well, it's just about what I expected from someone like you," ouch, little blunt there.  
"But you hardly know me."  
"Which is why I said someone like you," yea true I guess. Still, I've only known this girl for not even a few hours. Were my first impressions not that well, or does she just distrust me cause I'm new?

"It's ok, but I just don't feel like who you're writing about here doesn't evoke that much emotion," I guess I'm still really new at this, but hey it's criticism. Sayori hadn't really given me that.  
"I thought I gave it my all to be honest, but I mean is it just not uh... cute enough?"  
"... are you looking to get decked in the face?" Ok do not call her or what she likes cute, got it.  
"No, sorry sorry."

"So what did you think of mine?"  
"Umm, I like how it's short and straight to the point almost, yet I don't know. It just kinda seems a bit sad for someone who would seemingly write just cu- I mean. It's just kinda sad is all."  
"What, didn't expect me to write something so impactful? Besides, poems don't have to be short to get straight to the point. Watch, tomorrow I will write one as long as the page and it'll still hit you like a brick," what type of analogy is that?  
"I'll hold you to that, then."  
"Just watch me," I guess Natsuki is slowly warming up to me, I just hope she doesn't actually dislike me simply because I'm new.

Ah now the one I'm at least second most fearful of, Yuri. Not her, but what she'll say about my poem seeing as how she is the most well versed in, uh, literature.  
Walking up to her, poem in hand, I notice that she hasn't noticed I'm walking right up to her. Her face is currently shielded by her book, so I guess no one shared with her when I was sharing with Nat.  
"Hey Yuri!"-"EEP!"  
"O-ooh, hey MC. Uhhhh, sorry for that. I just got a little scared is all huhu," I guess I did say her name rather loudly.

I set my paper and myself on the desk opposite of her, and hand the paper over.  
"..."

I don't want to sound rude, in my own head even, but how many times has she passed over my poem? I feel like she's read it at least three times already.  
"Um, Yuri," I attempt to get her reaction  
"H-huh? Oohh, sorry! I forgot to uuhm.." it seems I derailed whatever she was thinking, or in this case reading.  
"O-okay. This isn't your first time writing, correct?"  
"I've written before, although I guess it shows how bad it is still."  
"No! I mean! Uuuuh did I just shout that?" Yuri lays her head down. We aren't going to get anywhere really if this goes on so I guess I should try and pickup the conversation instead of letting Yuri try to lead.

"It's alright, I didn't and I'm sure no one else noticed. What were you saying before?" Yea I know, really good at leading conversations, right?  
"W-well, it's just. I noticed some things you did that most new writers do. I know it's easy to do since everyone starts somewhere, and I made these same mistakes when I began. Something I always notice with new writers nearly instantly after reading their works is how they try to put together a style and topic that often just don't form well. It ultimately weakens both the style and the expressi-"  
Wow, it's actually kinda weird. Yuri isn't stuttering, slowing down, or breaking eye contact. I guess when she's onto something she's so passionate about, she just can't stop. And I was supposed to pickup the conversation, but she just saved it.  
"-a simple poem can take so much skill and effort to write. Getting a style to work with a topic itself is a challenge, as well as building the poem and it's form to just make it readable."

"It took me years to get to where I am now, so I wouldn't exactly expect to start writing a Edgar Allen Poe level poems in the coming days. But of course that's alright, everything comes through practice and hard work." Yuri so far has given me way more advice than Sayori and Natsuki combined, makes me think that Monika will probably drop the motherload of help.  
"I also hope the other club members have been giving you tips as well, well excluding Natsuki seeing how she can be a bit biased to certain topics," oh dear lord don't tell me there's drama between them.

"Biased, how so?"  
"Ah, well I shouldn't be talking about people like that anyways. Just disregard what I said," hopefully there isn't any. Hopefully.  
"W-well, sorry..." I can't tell if that's for me, herself, or Natsuki who is way outta ear shot to hear it.  
"Is it alright if I read your poem now?"-"Of course, here you-" Yuri hands me her extremely clean paper.

The writing is in some form of cursive, it's kinda hard to read actually. I can just make out the words.  
_The tendrils of my hair illuminate beneath the amber glow.  
Bathing.  
It must be this one.  
The last remaining streetlight to have withstood the test of time.  
the last yet to be replaced by the sickening blue-green hue of the future.  
I bathe. Calm; breathing air of the present but living in the past.  
The light flickers.  
I flicker back. ___

__This is almost exactly like Natsuki's poem on giving up, yet the exact opposite in style. Did they plan this, or was this just pure coincidence? Either way, it feels like everyone in the club wrote something either happy-sad or just sad as a whole. It's starting to make me think.._ _

"Sorry if it's to hard to read."  
"No it's alright, I can read it fine. Just thinking,"

"I really liked how it was descriptive, despite being given little space in the lines," either that made no sense, or I'm trying to much to sound like I know what I'm talking about.  
"Was it to short? I almost never usually write so little," I would expect that to be honest, I'm somewhat excited to see what she'll write for tomorrow. It seems like almost everyone is gonna try and write longer poems tomorrow, so I guess I should as well.  
"Not at all, it worked well with the message. The someone somber topic I guess I would call it," somber is an understatement really, giving up ain't what I would call less than somber.

"Ah well, most writers usually pour what they have experienced, their thoughts and their feelings into what they write. They form either the most simple story, or paint an impressive picture. ."  
"Well, it's clear you often like to paint pictures."  
"I believe that it's better to give a descriptive story to help the reader understand and be connected with the poem better," again with Natsuki's and Yuri's styles of writing being so completely different. Seeing how both of them are extremely passionate about their writing, as well as their distinct styles, I hope they don't buttheads any time soon.

"Oh and MC, like I said everyone has to start somewhere. I know you'll start picking up on these things too," I sure do hope so. For the clubs sake at least.  
"Don't worry, I'll keep trying," and I won't stop trying until the day I die. 

One last person to share with, and I know this one should go over like a breeze. Monika is sitting at the teacher's desk, writing on something. Guess I'll humor her.  
"Hey, I worked hard on my poem last night, how come you get to only work on it just now?"  
"Oh! Hi MC, and no this isn't my poem. I am currently working on another form of literature," a prompt, homework? Monika slides out of the swivel chair and strides over to me, holding two pieces of paper in each of her hands.  
"Music!" She waves the paper in her left hand in front of me, showing off yet not revealing the sheet music with many notes dotted across the paper.

"You write your own songs?" I'm pretty impressed, is there anything this girl can't do?  
"Well, no. This is my first time doing it, but I'm passionate enough to put my everything into making this sound and play amazingly." She sets down the sheet music on the desk next to us, and holds the other paper firmly in both hands.  
"I look forward to hearing it, then."-"And I look forward to having you listen. Now can I read your poem?" "Ah right, here," she gives a slight giggle as I hand over my poem. Considering how much criticism I got from Yuri alone, I'm sure Monika is going to give me plenty right now.

"I like this, it sorta reminds me of what Sayori wrote... Infact it's almost just like hers, topic wise at least. I guess it isn't to surprising, you two probably have a lot in common don't you?"  
"I-I guess we do, but even so we really are different," to bad she wrote about someone else.  
"Hmm, even if that's so there are probably more similarities than you would think. You'd be surprised how much she talked about you before you joined, and how she talked about you too. It sounds like the two of you really care about each other's well-being." How she talked about me? Knowing Sayori it was only good things, but-  
"Even if you show it in different ways, it ends up more similar than you think. So I guess what I'm saying is, that's the vibe I get from the poem. Combined with Sayori's poem at least."

"Sayori's poems are more gentle than everyone else's. Natsuki's is straightforward, Yuri's I feel is dug to deep, yet hers plays on a fine line between the two. The subtlety of sadness and happiness playing with the poem."  
"It's still a bit jarring to see someone as happy as Sayori write something even slightly sad."  
"You guys have known each other for a very long time I bet, but maybe there are some things you just don't know about each other yet?" Like what I was thinking before, what if her poem was about me? My heart races at the idea, yet then there is the other thing. Sleeping forever, that alone scares me. What if there's more to Sayori deep down that I don't know about?  
"Well, maybe she's just experimenting, and you shouldn't be afraid to either. Different styles, topics, you're still relatively new from what I can tell so try and just expand your borders a bit," I guess I could try Sayori's sad-happy style for a bit. Maybe she'll like it, too.

"I'll try to, who knows maybe I can write something better than I wrote today," considering how much I put into this poem, it'll be a hell of an effort to try and beat. Granted, to mostly everyone in the club it doesn't seem like setting the bar high but right now I feel pretty short.  
"I'd love to see you try new things, MC. In my opinion, it is the best way to find what suits you as a writer."

"But some people can be biased in how they write, like I'm sure how you saw how different Yuri's and Natsuki's styles were. I know they definitely gave you tips that contradict each other, so what you should try to do is just play around and not force yourself to a style that they suggest or you think will impress someone," I guess there goes the plan to write something sad just to impress Sayori.  
"Well, I don't want to drag this on to long so. Do you want to read my poem now? Don't worry, I'm not very good," I feel like I've haven't even spoken all to much with Monika.  
"You sound awfully confident for someone who claims they aren't good at this,"  
"Well that's because I have to sound confident, doesn't mean I always feel that way, y'know?"  
"Right.. well, let's read it then."

_It couldn’t have been me.  
See, the direction the spackle protrudes.  
A noisy neighbor? An angry boyfriend? I’ll never know. I wasn’t home.  
I peer inside for a clue.  
No! I can’t see. I reel, blind, like a film left out in the sun.  
But it’s too late. My retinas.  
Already scorched with a permanent copy of the meaningless image.  
It’s just a little hole. It wasn’t too bright.  
It was too deep.  
Stretching forever into everything.  
A hole of infinite choices.  
I realize now, that I wasn’t looking in.  
I was looking out.  
And he, on the other side, was looking in. ___

Seems.. abstract? Despite everything else I've read here today, this one just seems so odd. I guess it's freeform, yet it seems more than that.  
"So, what are your thoughts on it?" I seriously don't know, I could figure out what the other poems meant excluding Sayori's somewhat, yet this.  
"I guess it's sorta freeform? I'm not the best person to ask advice for so."  
"That's perfectly alright. Freeform has gotten a lot more popular nowadays. Most poems usually like to make a play with the word and line spacing, which I feel gives plenty more space and lots more freedom when writing."

"It can give power to the meaning when read aloud," and that brings up the question.  
"What's the meaning behind this one?"  
"Ah, w-well. It's a bit hard to explain, but let's just say I had an epiphany recently."  
"I guess you won't be telling me what it's about, then?"  
"Maybe after everyone gets to know each other better, I think I'll be able to share it then," I guess I'll either have to wait or figure it out on my own time.

"Anyways, here's Monika's Writing Tip of the Day!" I guess this is where her advice to improve my own writing comes in.  
"Sometimes when you're writing a poem, or a story, your brain gets fixated on a certain point. If you try to hard to make it perfect, you'll never progress with it. Just force yourself to get something down on the paper, and tidy it all up later." Sounds like a problem I had myself last night.  
"I guess another way to see it is, if you keep your pen in the same spot for so long you'll just get a big dark puddle of ink. So just move your hand, and go with the flow~ And that's my advice for today!" Well I gotta say, this probably will come in handy tonight seeing as how I am gonna make a poem larger than this one.

"I can't wait to hear what tip you have in store for tomorrow," we share a laugh before I walk off and put my poem away to the depths of my bag, not even bothering with a folder seeing as how I will probably throw it away once I get home.

Well, as awkward as this all went it could of gone worse. I think I did a pretty good job, I enjoyed everyone else's poems and mine isn't to horrible compared to theirs. I stretch and yawn quietly as to not bother Monika and Sayori who are probably sharing right now, or Yuri and Natsuki who are as well.  
I guess my curiosity gets the better of me, as I glance over towards the short and taller girls who just started to share.

Natsuki doubles over Yuri's poem, she looks pretty confused and.. annoyed? Meanwhile Yuri seems patient as ever, only needing to read the poem once and setting it down onto the desk.  
"What is this language?" As quiet as she wanted it to be, Natsuki said that loud enough for me to hear it. And if I heard it-  
"Hmm?"-"Oh, nothing." She set the paper down firmly and crosses her arms.  
"I guess it was fancy," is that all the criticism, or praise even she'll give?  
"Oh... well, I found yours to be cute," oh no.

"Cute?! Did you not even see the point of the whole poem, about giving up? How is that supposed to be cute?!??!" I can almost feel the fear that shook throughout Yuri when Natsuki leaped out of her desk in a fit of anger and annoyance.  
"I-I know this, I was just trying to uhm. I was just Turing to say something nice is all," I don't think Yuri is exactly to keen on getting nearly yelled at, she's practically quivering at this point.  
"You really have to try that hard to come up with something nice to say? Well, no thanks. It did not come out nice whatsoever," as much as it may seem tit-for-tat with Natsuki calling Yuri's poem 'fancy' I think Yuri was actually trying to be nice here. Either that or Natsuki is right in saying it was rude, but then again does that really need to call for all the other stuff that Natsuki acted?

"Well, I just have a couple of suggestions th-"  
"-If I was looking for suggestions, I would ask someone who liked my poem, which people did by the way! Sayori and MC both liked it, and I know Monika at least appreciated it!" So that whole hope of thinking there was no drama? It's out the window right now.  
"And based on that, I will give suggestions of my own," Isn't this sorta hypocritical?  
"Excuse me, but I have spent a lot of time coming establishing my style of writing. I seriously do not expect it to change any time soon, unless I come across something inspiring to me. And I haven't found anything yet, so I am contempt with the style I have now." I'm sorta surprised Yuri is standing up for herself, as someone who seems very shy and keeps to themselves.

"And for your information, MC told me he liked my poem very much as well. He even said he was impressed by it."-"..... Oh?" Natsuki, standing up, crosses her arms and has an incredibly smug look on her face.  
"Well Yuri, I didn't know you were trying to impress the newest club member so much!" A resounding yelp comes from Yuri. I feel like I should back away so I don't get caught up in this, yet I'm so enthralled.  
"Th- that is not what, what I, I- youre, you're just jealous that MC appreciates my advice more than he does yours!" Yuri, both literally and metaphorically stands up.

"Oh really, how did you go ahead and guess he liked your advice more than mine? Did he tell you? Are you just this full of yourself?"  
"If I was so full of myself I would go out of my way and make everything I do so deliberately cute!" I can feel the tension in the room, and I think Monika and Sayori are starting to notice it too.  
"W-I, well I'm not the one who's boobs magically grew a size when MC showed up to the club!" Please tell me this is as weird as it's gonna get, I don't wanna be caught up in this.  
"Natsuki!"-"Natsuki, I think that you t-" Monika and Yuri both are taken hugely by surprise, yet Monika is cut short by both of the girls. "This isn't your business, Monika!" Sayori looks incredibly heartbroken by what's going on right now.

Ohhhh no. All eyes are on me now as Natsuki and Yuri give me the look of death, yet still someone looking like they're asking for me to side with one of them. I look towards Sayori, still distraught by what's going on.  
"MC, she's just trying to make me look bad!"-"MC, you saw how she started it! If she could just get over herself and see that a simpler form of writing is more effective, then none of this would have started!"

"There's no reason in making poems so incredibly convoluted, the meaning should jump out to the reader, not force them to look into each word and make them figure it out. Help me explain this, MC!"  
"That's not true at all, there is a reason our language needs to have so many different and deep expressive words! It's the absolute way to show complex feelings and meaning most effectively. Avoiding them is not only unnecessary, but it hurts the writing itself and makes it a waste! You understand that, right MC?"  
Two compelling arguments, yet they're both just so.. wrong. It's all opinion, isn't it?

I look throughout the room, Monika seemingly has a look of pure shame, Sayori still looming greatly upset, and both of the other girls giving me their attention to see if I will side with one of them. Yet I'll side with neither, they're both wrong really.

"Enough! You both are arguing for absolutely no reason, over something that is a simple opinion on how to write. Don't you see what you're doing to your fellow club members?" They both tense up at my shout and look around the room as well, seeing how Sayori and Monika look stressed out and upset.  
"Natsuki, your writing shows the reader a message that can be easily understood, yet still be incredibly impactful when seen. It's a unique style that can be made however with little to no limitations."-"Ha! See, I kn-"  
"And Yuri, your writing is unique in how it can be as short as a single line yet with such expressive words show a large painting to the reader, who can dig deeper and deeper each time they read it to get a better understanding of what the author intended to tell them," it seems me complimenting Yuri's style as well shocked Natsuki, who I guess still expected me to take a side.

"You both have amazing, unique styles that you should be proud of. Yet you should never try to force them onto others, like you did with each other," both the girls look shameful, yet still somewhat angry.  
"B-b, it's-"  
"And Yuri, I'm sure Natsuki didn't uh mean what she said about your, well you know," Natsuki looks at me with an annoyed stare.  
"I never said you could speak for me..." 

"But.. I didn't mean it, I'm," Natsuki looks like she's apologizing for the first time in her life.  
"I'm sorry for what I said, I didn't mean it," Yuri nods.  
"I didn't mean anything rude I said either, I'm sorry," I think that's that? I hope at least.  
"It's alright.. I'm just gonna-" Natsuki takes a seat and lays her head down, guess she's still upset about the whole thing.  
"I'll go make some tea for everyone," Yuri steps away from the group.

Monika silently walks up to me with a look of gratefulness.  
"Sorry I wasn't able to do anything, after they told me to back off I just. Did. I know it was a cowardice thing to do, and I should of stepped in regardless."  
"Monika it's alright, and if I was you, I would try and be a mile away from the argument," Monika slightly chuckles at my terrible joke.  
"People see me as some amazing leader, but to be honest I'm really bad with drama and handling people. That's why I left the Debate Club, there was just so much drama. I seriously hope that's the only time they'll argue," my eyes shift to Sayori who has kept quiet for the most of this. She notices my staring and walks up to us.

"You did a pretty good job at handling that, maybe you should be the Vice President eheheh," why did that laugh sound so upsetting?  
"It was nothing, I just hated seeing you get so upset with what was happening," I can see Sayori blush before she lowers her head down, making it so I can't see her face.

"T-thanks MC," is all I hear from Sayori before she shuffles away, leaving me all alone as Monika left moments before.  
Walking over to my desk I notice a tea cup at it, as well as one on Natsuki's and Sayori's desks. Yuri is currently pouring one for Monika, as well as talking to her. I think I handled the situation as best I could, there wasn't much else I could do.

I sit down and reach into my bag, pulling out that blue book from earlier. Kinda in a mood to read it now, with a nice cup of tea. I open the book, and reach the first page...

"Ok, everyone! That's it for today! What did you all think of sharing poems?"  
"It was super fun!" Sayori leaps in excitement, probably thinking of another poem already to write.  
"I thought it was fine," Yuri looks somewhat content.  
"It was ok, well for the most part," and Natsuki looks still somewhat upset for the argument.  
"What about you MC, what did you think?" Once again all eyes are on me.  
"I had a great time, I cannot wait to write something a bit longer and better tonight with all of your advice!" And this ain't me just saying that, I cannot wait for tonight.

"Well, I think that's just about a good time to wrap up the meeting. Remember your assignments for tomorrow, and don't be late!" Monika claps her hands and returns to her desk, probably to gather her belongings or do some last minute club work. I do the same, and sling my bag around my shoulder.  
"MC! Are you ready to go home?"-"Are you forgetting something Sayori?"  
Sayori looks around herself and the room before looking back at me inquisitively.  
"Snacks," almost instantly I hear the loudest grumble come from Sayori's stomach, and a slight one from mine as well.

We both speed out of the room, racing to the Vending Machine, hoping it as some of our favorite foods in it still.  
"Yes! They still have a single chocolate bar left," Sayori pulls out her coin purse and searches it to its depth only to come short of, well the entire price.  
"I did say I was paying, it's alright," I pull my wallet out and take a small amount of cash out of it, inserting it into the machine and pressing B5 to get the chocolate bar, as well as C3 for a candy I like.

Sayori looks eager, jumping up and down, waiting for the machine to push out the candy bar so she can reach down and snatch it up from the machine slot. Once it does fall, she instantly reaches for the bar and yanks it out, freeing it from the vending machine's tiny prison.  
"Thank you MC so much," Sayori gives me a huge hug, and I return the favor.  
"It's just a single candy bar, you know?"  
"Yes, but I'm hungry," Sayori pulls away and unwraps her chocolate bar, while I grab my candy bar from the machine.  
"Cmon, let's head home," I push open the exit near us and Sayori follows through, soon we're on our way out of the school grounds.

Almost a few minutes from our houses now, I wonder if that's the last time Yuri and Natsuki will argue. I hope so, because I wouldn't want to see Sayori get upset again for what happened. I think Sayori picks up on my thoughts, as she looks slightly upset too.  
"You don't hate Yuri and Natsuki now that they argued and brought you into it, do you?"  
"Of course not, they just had a disagreement over something and that is perfectly fine. I wouldn't hate them over bringing me into it either, I was right there after all and they just needed a third party to help one of them."

"It doesn't happen between them often, does it?" I attempt to assure that this isn't common by asking Sayori.  
"Not at all, this really is the first time I've seen them argue. They haven't even butt heads once before," was it because I joined the club, or was it simply just a dispute over poetry and writing? I can't really ask anyone that question but myself, and sadly I don't have the answer.

Another minute passes, and our houses come into sight not to far away.  
"You know MC, I'm really happy I get to spend time with you in and after the club now. Yet I think what makes me happiest most is seeing you spend time with everyone else there, and I feel like everyone likes you too!"  
"I hope so, Natsuki seemed a little cold but I think she's warming up to me, and Yuri is starting to come out of her box a little," Sayori seems to flinch everytime I bring up their names. Is she still afraid I may dislike them before of the rather poor introductions?

Much closer to our houses now, Sayori gives me a quick hug before parting ways. I wish it wouldn't end honestly.  
"Bye MC!"-"Seeya Sayori!" I walk into my house and slam the door shut, throwing my bag onto the floor and laying down on the couch.  
My mind drags me through everything that's going to, and could happen. What should I do for the festival? Will I have time for it still now that the club is participating? Should I ask Sayori out the day before, or tomorrow? Maybe I should buy new clothes for it, or get some flowers for Sayori. Is that a bit to forward? I mean I am literally asking her out so maybe not, yet it could be just silly seeing as we've known eachother our whole lives basically.

And thinking more about Sayori herself, that poems still eludes me. What if that person is me, what if it's someone else? What did it mean to sleep forever metaphorically? So many questions, yet no way to answer them without seeming like and idiot. Maybe I should go over to Sayori's house and we can just hang out, then I should bring it up? I don't know.

I sigh to myself and sit up from my comfortable couch, soon standing up to go clean up after a very long day of school.

I got a long week ahead of me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am incredibly lazy please forgive me for how long it takes to make these lol, but I ain't abandoning it until I say it is without a doubt finished.


	8. He's Been Hanging 'Round for Days

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just pondering on some things, writing some poems, and thinkin about her.

Maybe it's just me, or does the house look more messy than usual? I stand up and begin picking up small pieces of trash across the floor, cans and bottles and the such. I can clean myself up after I make the house more presentable. After gathering all the little pieces and tossing them onto the coffee table, I walk over to the kitchen and grab a trash bag from under the sink.

I wonder, how much do I even have to buy new clothes? Even flowers? I'm not exactly the most wealthy man, but maybe if I get a job so I can make Sayori happy during the festival. Well, it'll be worth it I hope.  
I grab the trash and begin tossing it into the bag as the thought of getting a job lingers. It's not the worst idea, I just need to find a good place that's hiring. Maybe that coffee shop not to far from home or the school?

Well, the room still looks a bit dirty. I could vacuum, so let's go get that. The trash bag isn't that full so I could leave it open. I pickup the light bag and toss it in the kitchen, next to the back porch door. From there I go to the closet and grab the very old vacuum from there. Dragging it out to the living room, I plug it into the wall and go back into thought as I almost mechanically move around the room cleaning.

What about the candy shop, it's a bit farther than the house but it wouldn't surprise me if they're actually hiring. Who doesn't love candy? I could also get a discount for friends and family, which of course includes Sayori and her love for sweets.

Sayori, right. Was her poem actually about me? Are her feelings mutual? I could be just thinking silly, there's no way she likes me more than a friend. And what of the other parts in the poem? Sleeping forever... should I bring that up tomorrow?

Almost done vacuuming I grab my bag and toss it on the couch and clean the last corners of the room. The floor certainly looks way better, now I could clean the entire house yet there is one room that I know needs a cleaning. I cast away the vacuum into the depths of the closet, and shut the door. Grabbing the still incredibly light trash bag, I bring it upstairs, setting it inside my room next to the door frame. This is gonna take a bit.

It's a bit of a mess, my room, yet I can only imagine what Sayori's looks like after I haven't helped her around in a while. This could be a bit of good practice, so I could start helping her around again. I redo the same steps I did in the living room, grabbing the cans and bottles as well as wrappers and anything else. Tossing everything into the trash bag, I notice it's getting a bit more full. Huh, I just realized I need the vacuum up here. Crap. 

I skip down the stairs, reach into the abyss of the closet after rushing the door to be open and pull out the still very old vacuum. I sling it under my arm and run back upstairs, quickly unwrapping the wires and plugging them into an outlet. I sweep over the pretty dirty carpet, leaving a path of cleanliness from where the vacuum strokes over. Going over my room a few times, I finish vacuuming and wrap the wires back up and around the device after unplugging it, leaving it outside my room along with the trash bag so I can take them downstairs later.

I clean up my bed and desk a little bit, just organizing and making the bed which I will mess up in a few hours. I wonder, how much would Sayori like if I maybe head over to her house today? We could head out, hang out like we used to. Maybe just watch a movie inside, or something. Or is this all to forward, as we did really just start reconnecting somewhat recently. Then again, we've basically been best friends our entire lives so, who knows. She could appreciate the gesture for all I know!

I finish tidying up what's left, and well now it's time to clean myself. I grab some casual clothing and set them on the bed, grabbing my phone out of my pocket and opening my music app.  
I walk out of my room, grabbing a towel from the closet in the hall, and prance into the bathroom. Turning on the shower and setting my towel up on the rack, I strip down and put on some music, hitting shuffle. I climb into the shower as Just begins to play. Starting with a soft guitar strum, and then it booms and begins with the lyrics. I sing along, I just can't help it sometimes.

_Can't get the stink off  
He's been hanging around for days_

_Comes like a comet  
Suckered you but not your friends_

_One day he'll get to you  
And teach you how to be a hoooolly cow_

_You do it to yourself, you do_

_And that's what really hurts  
Is you do it to yourself, just you_

_You and no-one else  
You do it to yooouurrrseeeeeeeellllfff  
You do it to yourrrseeeeeelllllf_

_Don't get my sympathy, hanging out the fifteenth floor  
You've changed the locks three times  
He still comes reeling through the door_

_One day I'll get to you  
And teach you how to get to puuuurest hell!_

_You do it to yourself you do_

_And that's what really hurts  
Is you do it to yourself, just you_

_You and no-one else_  
You do it to yourself  
You do it to y- __

__It was about this point in the song I begin to lose interest in singing, as the guitar solo blasts and most of the lyrics are just chorus from here on out. I focus a bit more on cleaning my head rather than sing._ _

Still humming the song somewhat, the music suddenly cuts short and the ringtone I set for Sayori blaring up. Shit, my hands are covered in soap I'm so close to finishing hold on. I repeat what I did not many days ago, and speed up my cleaning process. The phone is still ringing, I jump out of the shower and grab the towel, quickly rubbing my hands to be dry as well as my head to prevent my phone getting wet from when I hold it up to my ear. 

Just as I finish scrubbing my head, the ringing suddenly stops. Damnit, I did all the fast shit for nothing. I could of just called her back, why did I panic? I finish drying off and wrap the towel around my waste, letting the song continue then finish before turning it off and walking back to my room, phone in hand. I put the phone onto my charger, and peer into Sayori's room before starting to get dressed. She usually never closes her shades, that's odd? Is it gonna rain in a bit?

Nevermind that, I'll call her in a second. I get dressed, and pickup my phone. I go to missed calls and quickly ring Sayori up.

...  
She usually responds quickly, what's up? Everything's alright, right? She can't be upset because I didn't pick up in time, maybe she's just busy or... I get a slight feeling of fear, the type that comes when you anticipate something dreadful coming. I'm just overreacting, that's it. Should I check on her? I did last time and she thought nothing of it. Maybe..

No, I already breached her privacy last that and that was wrong. I'll keep my space, I'm sure she's fine. And what if she isn't? I'm just- it's fine. Just do some work, you can meet up with her tomorrow or later. I go out of my room, and grab the trash and vacuum. Down the steps I toss the trash out in the back, and set the vacuum into the closet. From there I grab my bag off the couch and open it up, I don't really wanna be in my room anymore so I'll just do my work here.

Hours pass and I finish up my homework after constant procrastinating, and worrying about a certain someone. There's only one thing to do. I grab a piece of paper and my pen, I just gotta think of what to write this time.

Something special, close to my heart, long, maybe sad and happy? I could try the style out, then I could try Yuri's, Natsuki's, or Monika's styles if I don't enjoy it. Especially so if Sayori doesn't like it. I stick to everyone's advice, ensuring I get the most out of this poem. 

Hours, countless papers, and an entire pen wasted later I finally got something somewhat enjoyable. But it isn't good enough, it needs to be better. I just need a bit more advice, I should get my phone and maybe search some stuff up or listen to music and get some more inspiration. I begin to walk upstairs when the front door clicks open, revealing my Father and Mother close behind him. I guess I was up for a while, but without a clock insight I don't know the time.

"Son! What are you doing up this late? You have school tomorrow, so I hope you're going up to sleep!"  
"Sorry dad-" I step back downstairs closer to them and the poem "-I've been working on the club assignment, writing a poem and right now I'm just. Well, I'm trying to improve this one," I grab my poem and hand it over to my dad and mom, he takes it out of my hand and looks over it about three times.

"I don't get it," ouch. Maybe I made it to complicated, or? My mom quickly grabs the paper from my father and only reads it once, her eyes lighting up as she does.  
"Did you write this for Sayori?"-"Wh- n, I mean. Yes, ok I did I'm trying to find a way to get to her and this is the only way I know how. She wrote about Happy-Sad stuff in her poem today so I tried the same thing, I think she'll like it but I don't right now," I get both confused glances from my parents, on what I don't know.

"You mean bittersweet?" I guess that's the word.  
"Whatever son, here. I may not get this poem stuff, but I'm sure no matter what you do for Sayori you'll make her happy. I swear, all you have to do is be there for her and it'll put a big smile on her face!" My dad gives a hearty laugh at that last statement.  
"I think the poem is great, she'll love it. And I'm glad you're getting back into writing, I always loved your cute little poems when you were a kid."  
"Thanks mom, thanks dad," just as I say this they quickly climb up the stairs, wishing me a goodnight and explaining they're tired after a long days work so will be sleeping a bit earlier than usual.

I read over my poem once again, it's ok I guess. It's good enough, and I bet Sayori will love it! I quickly put away all my work and rush upstairs too, I'm a bit tired myself.

I set my bag down onto the floor, and check over to my phone. Just my luck, Sayori called my again and I missed it. Again. I'll just explain to her tomorrow what happened. I peak out into her window's direction again, and notice something strange.  
She's still up, and what makes that so obvious is she's leaning out the window, hands covering her face as she looks down into the floor and occasionally into my house's general direction.

Oh no is she... I can't do anything from here other than talk. But I want to help, do more than just talk. I can hear Sayori's light sobbing if I press my head up just next to the window frame, should I say something? Even then if I'm not right next to her, what would my words even do? Maybe her parents aren't home and I could knock on her door. Yet, maybe I can do this tomorrow? No no, I'll do it now.

I go into my closet and grab my jacket, slipping it on as well as a pair of shoes. I quietly go down stairs and grab my keys off the front entrance rack. Stepping outside, I slowly push the door shut to ensure the wind doesn't slam it for me.

I take in a deep breath, it's starting to get colder. For my I've always loved the cold, while Sayori was more of a summer person. I love the way the crisp air flows through and around you, the soft feeling of the snow, the fact there are no annoying bugs.  
I arrive outside Sayori's house, and knock on the door a plenty amount of times. Being late at night, I ensure I don't don't do it loud enough where the next house over doesn't hear it, but only Sayori's whole house. There's no way she didn't hear it. I just hope she's the only one home so I wouldn't have to deal with the slightly awkward situation of talking to her parents so late at night.

The cold begins to creep up on my after what feels like hours, slowly making me shiver and zip up my jacket and slip over my hood to protect my now cold head. As much as I love the cold, my body was sadly not built to protect from it. Just as I was going to leave, the door cracks open although I am facing away from it, foot planted away towards the steps. I quickly turn around and notice how the door, once again was shut but the gasping of the person behind the door is audibly heard. I guess it's just Sayori here.

The door once again croaks open, this time with my facing it. Behind the now widely open door is Sayori, in a sorta casual night outfit.   
"S-sorry, you can come in," she's keeping her head down for a reason, I guess to prevent me from seeing her red eyes.  
"It's alright Sayori, you know I enjoy the cold anyways," I walk into Sayori's house, glancing around noticing it was a bit of a mess, a lot more than I noticed before when I came here last time. Does she ever clean up, or her parents even?

We sit in silence for a moment before I take off my jacket and set it up on the coat rack. Where do I even start this? This isn't the best time to confess either, right? Should I just comfort her and go home? I guess I should apologize first.  
"Sorry for not answering your call in time, I was in the shower and rushed to get out when I heard it was you calling. I tried to call back again, but... then uh. Well, I'm sorry I missed the last call too, I was doing work for school and the club," Sayori looked somewhat relieved from me telling why I missed the calls, yet still tense. 

"It's ok, I just needed help with... something. But don't worried, I got it all tied up now and finished," there's a certain tone in her voice that scares me, it just sounds so empty. Maybe she let all her feelings out when she cried and she's just tired, maybe I disturbed her sleeping and should just leave. But I still gotta bring up what I heard.  
"Look, I'm sorry for bothering you, but Sayori are you ok? When I got up to go to sleep I saw you were crying from your window. Is everything alright?" Sayori just tilts her head up and down slowly, gesturing it was ok. Yet it doesn't feel truthful, at all.  
"Sorry I disturbed your sleep MC, and your shower. I just- I was just being selfish is all," what is she talking about? 

Sayori all of a sudden rushes up her stairs, causing me to run up after yet slip on the rug and just barley catch myself. Just as she slammed her door shut, I make my first step on the stairs. I can hear numerous name calling coming from her room. I'm guessing they're for her rather than me, but why is she doing this? I sit down, back against the door to give some amount of space here. I hear her sit against the door too.

"I just keep messing up, ruining everything. Everything I do, it always ends up being ruined or fucking someone's day up. I can't do anything right, I ca.." it's about here where her rambling trails off and goes into her crying again, this time a bit louder than the soft sobbing she did at the window. There's so many things I want to say, yet so little I understand. What's happening to her? Did I do something wrong? Should I just be upfront and ask?

I get up from my spot at the door, and open it. Pulling it towards me, Sayori falls onto her back and is now on the floor looking up to me. I sit myself down right next to her, and she lays her head on my legs. I begin to stroke through her hair in some attempt to console her, and I guess it's slightly working as her crying has stopped ever so slightly, yet her rambling still continues.

"Sayori..." I think I should just ask what's wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just got back from a vacation, sorry I couldn't write!


	9. Scream as they Fight for Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just try to help in anyway

We moved from the cold floor to Sayori's bed, this time with her laying her head on my shoulder, looking down. So many questions, yet it's almost like there's no time to answer any of them.

"How come you ran up the stairs?" Gotta start somewhere. "I just- I don't want to bother you, you can leave whenever you want and I thought you would after I went to my room."  
I don't think Sayori realized how fast she ran up her room. Still this answer didn't exactly answer everything so..

"Whatever you wanted to tell me on the phone, you can tell me here. Besides it's better in person, right?"  
There's a long silence in the room, you can hear our hearts shaking, the ragged breathing of Sayori, the sweat running down my face. Maybe I shouldn't of asked?

"... it.." She makes one word out before leaning forward and beginning to sob a bit harder, hands rubbing her eyes. I pat her on the back, just trying to find some way to let her know I can listen and won't judge whatever she says.  
Maybe I can just be direct. Maybe I should just be patient.

I'll go with the latter for now, and if it doesn't work then we'll go more direct.  
Silence still lingers into the air, other than the occasional hiccup or sniffle from Sayori. With my eyes being pulled more towards the room to keep myself occupied with something other than her, I notice how unclean the room is. There's wrappers, soda cans, old chip bags, just about everything here laying around the room. Even the mini trash can she has isn't in use. I can help out a little bit while she's in thought.

When I stand up, Sayori quickly looks up me with a disheartened face. I quickly kneel down in front of her, ensuring her I'm just gonna help clean up her room a little bit. The face of absolute terror appears on her face, and she leaps up along with me and holds me on tightly.

"No! No no no no, it's fine! I'll do it myself you don't have to worry!" She almost screams at me, what is going on with her?

Sayori's arms are wrapped around my entire body, her head laying into my chest softly crying and speaking, yet I'm just frozen in place with what just happened. Why does she not want me to simply pick up some trash? Is she hiding something embarrassing or something? 

I doubt it, we basically tell each other everything, there's no way she would be embarrassed if I found something she didn't want other people to see. But, what if..  
what if it's something else, something terrible? What other reason would she have for ensuring I don't look around for trash, and subsequently whatever she doesn't want me to find?

I slowly peel Sayori's arms away from me, and bring her back to the bed with me where she then continues to lay her head onto my shoulder. This time her sobbing becoming more erratic, loud.

I have known Sayori nearly my entire life, all of it with any problems we've had we solved them together. If there was a problem with either one of us, we always would help each other out. We knew what to do.  
Yet this time? I don't know what to do. For the first time I just- I don't know what to do, and that scares me.

I feel my own tears beginning to stream down my face, yet I try my absolute best to conceal any noises. I don't need Sayori worrying over me right now.

If it's what I truly fear, then maybe I should be upfront about it. I should just get this done with so I can know what to do, how to help. "Sayori..."  
She slowly pulls back to look at my face and I do the same, our eyes staring right into each other.

At this very moment I can feel almost everything she does looking into her deep blue eyes, every ounce of fear. Every inch of worry, every mile of sadness. I can see everything, yet for some ungodly reason it isn't enough to help me figure what to do. All I can hope for is things to get better, and say a few kind words.

"I'm sorry I didn't pickup the phone either time, I'm sorry I left you alone and scared, I know I messed up but Sayori please just tell me what's wrong. I'll do anything, anything to help." She lowers her head avoiding my gaze, and her sobbing slowly stops. Yet mine are just put on hold. "I- whe...n." She shakes her head and covers her face.

"I don't want you to worry,"-"You're making me more worried now! Just tell me what is happening, please.."

Silence continued for another few long moments. I can't get through, I can't do anything.

"I.. have depression." Almost in an instant I felt my chest burn, my head ache and nearly every one of my bones shiver. How long has she had it? How long have I not noticed??? I can't fucking, and she was all on her own without any help. This has to be my fault. It has to be, I should have helped I should have noticed! What friend am I? Not a good one clearly, this could have- this-

I feel my face burning yet streams of the cold streaking across my cheeks, grunting coming out so I can prevent me sobbing. Sayori clung onto my shirt and dug her head in as I rested my arms are her shoulders and my head onto hers.

Slowly yet surely we both were extremley tired from the running, crying, and from school so we drifted to sleep in each other's arms...

"I'm so sorry," were the last words to come out of Sayori's mouth before we both drifted off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't even describe how disappointed I was with the last chapter. So much so I literally stopped writing because I hated it, but I don't want to back down with what I have (bad trait for a writer, I know) and so I'm just gonna work with it.
> 
> This chapter may be the final one, but I'll tie it all up in the next with a paragraph or two.


	10. Blame it on the Falling Sky

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happened to the simpler days? Oh does MC long for them, almost feel like what it was to be so young.   
> Well, he's only in high school so he has a long way to go.

"A-ah sh.. shit," this isn't my room, is it? I drag myself out of the bed and stand up looking into a light blue mirror, god I need a shower to wake me up...  
I notice in the mirror a large plush cow peaking out in the corner. Wait, isn't this? Crap, I fell asleep here. Sayori isn't here either, did she leave right after she woke up?

If it was any other day I would guess she would be pissed I accidentally slept with her, but knowing now... I don't have even the slightest clue what she could be thinking. Some friend I am. I back away from the mirror and notice the dirty room before me, the shouting of last night, the tears shed. What did she not want me to find?

I begin to scavenge the room with my eyes, looking for any abnormally large clothing piles, open drawers, anything without physically rummaging around. Yet curiosity gets the better of me and I start to actually search. What could it be? A bloody razor? No, I've seen her wrists they're more clean than a brand new car. A gun? She wouldn't even know where to get one, much less how to use one. But what about... knots aren't to hard to make. Dread fills my head and I dig harder.

Nothing, just more trash, more junk. Nothing. I'm overreacting, breaching her privacy for no reason. I'm acting ridiculous. I leave her room and wander over to the bathroom, leaning against the frame and I knock on the door. "Sayori, I'm gonna head to my place to get ready for school. I'll see you outside ok? Don't be late, sleepy-head," I walk away from the door and head down the stairs, leaving the house and walking straight to mine.

I walk into my house and realize I have plenty of time, maybe I can take it slow for now and just ponder on my thoughts. I head upstairs and beam straight for the shower, stripping all my clothes and turning on the shower.  
How many years? How long without help? Who else knows, her family and friends? Or is it just me? Why me? I love Sayori to death but I don't know if I can handle this, but I have to stay strong for her. For us both.

I swipe aside the curtains and climb in, rinsing my body and then dousing it in soaps. After washing my hair and rinsing once more, I turn off the water and climb out while shaking my head into a now not-so-dry towel. Going to my room, I take out some clothes from the drawer and slip into my uniform, then grabbing my bag and tossing it onto my bed double checking I have everything.

After a while I head outside, waiting on the same spot I always do for Sayori. Yet she doesn't come, and not until 5 minutes before school starts I get a text from her.  
'Sorry MC, I just need to think for a bit. I'll see you at the club,' today is going to be a lonely one, isn't it?

I set off towards school, the streets now being empty since all students left about fifteen minutes ago and just arrived at school, guess I'll be late but it's doesn't matter.

Even though it's still day, even though cars and people still pass on by, it feels so empty. Like my town has become a desolate wasteland, it's lost its original purpose, it's original meaning to me. It feels different.  
I walk by the park, this is where I met Sayori for the first time. I was eating a snack with my back against a tree, and she came right up to me, sat by my side, and asked for some. She always was such a hungry person...

When we found out we lived next to each other, it made life so much easier to just have fun. Have a play-date, walk to the park, go to a candy store. Walking past the park, I came upon the first place me and Sayori realized we would be seeing each other a lot more, an ice cream store. I walked into the store with my mom, and when she noticed me she jumped up and rather than shouting my name (We didn't exchange names at the park) she shouted the name of the snack I gave her.

Guess it confused my mom why I was being called a type of food, but nonetheless she started talking to Sayori's mom and found out we lived right next to each other. Guess it was heaven for our two moms, seeing as they could just leave us with each other and we would be fine giving them some needed time off.

Ah, finally at the school. A short trip down memory lane, it's almost like I can feel everything that's happened in the past. This school carries plenty of memories too, hell this whole town does. Ever since junior high, I've always been a shutin. Yet Sayori has always pulled me out of my house to do something, I should return the favor right? I'll do something for her once we leave the club together. We'll take her mind of anything that's a problem.

I walk through the main gates and head towards the front office, considering I'm late I'm about to get a stern warning from just about everyone in that office.

I push open the door to the building.


	11. Protect Me from the World

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> MC, Yo MC you there? Wake up silly, we got a club to go to!

Math class, then the club room. I'll show Sayori this poem, and tell her how I feel. Maybe. Is that the wrong thing to do? I don't know anymore. I just want her to feel happy, but what if this is the opposite. Either way there's also still the chance she doesn't even like me that way, right?

Wait, did everyone leave class early and no one told me? Wow, some good friends I have here... huh? This some dejavu or, this.. This has happened before right? Whatever, just something stupid. I notice once again the bulletin board of papers, and walking up the Literature Club paper picks up my attention for a second time.

It's the exact same as before, yet something feels off. Is it a different shade of pink? Was it always blue? What if it was green? A shiver creeps up my spine as I slowly turn away from the paper and turn to face the clock on the wall.  
Club starts in about ten minutes, I should probably get there before Say- Wait. Usually I guess Sayori would be here to pick me up, but she could just be busy or something. Still, sorta lonely. I walk over to my bag and start to sling it over my shoulder.

 _'You shoulda looked harder'_. Huh!? I jump outta my skin for a second and face right where the voice came from, yet Monika is there only ten feet away at the doorframe. I could of sworn it was her voice, just mere inches away.  
"Heya MC, I scare you or something? You look like you just saw a ghost," it felt like one was here, that's for sure.  
"N-no, I just sorta.. it's not important. Were you looking for me?"-"Yea, figured you be here since I know this is your last class for the day. What're you still doing though, _everyone's_ waiting in the clubroom," what's with the emphasis on 'everyone'? "My bad, let's head over then," I sling the bag over my shoulder and walk out the door with Monika behind me.

I feel a little, what's the word, I can't really describe it. At ease, yet uncomfortable. Knowing someone is with me is nice, but something about Monika is just giving me the chills. Maybe because I thought it was her voice I heard back in the classroom. Infact, I'm probably just overreacting. Was there even a voice? I guess not since I don't even remember what it said. We walk the entire way to the third year hall in quiet, up until we reach the hall itself.

"Wow, so many memories in this place, right MC?"-"Well it's only been a year, hasn't it? Even less."  
"I guess you're right, but isn't it nice to remember all the good stuff?" My mind has been scrambled for a bit, all I can think about right now is getting the clubroom. It feels as if something is pulling me there. "Yea, yea." It feels harsh just brushing off Monika's small talk, but I just need to get to Sayori.

We reach the clubroom and I practically bust the door open, getting the unintended reaction of everyone in the room. Except Sayori. She isn't here. "H-huh? Hey, where's Sayori?" They all just give me the look of confusion. "MC, you just kicked the door down, gonna give me an apology for disturbing my quiet reading time?" Natsuki scours at me jokingly while climbing out of the closet. But it isn't what I want. 

I lean against a chair and look down at the desk. It's so dirty, what is going on? "MC? Are you alright?" I feel a hand press against my forehead, forcing my face up to look towards whoever the hand belongs to. It's Yuri. "I'm fine, I just gotta," what is with me today? I take a seat in the desk and face the window. Where is she, she said she would be here. It feels like seconds have passed but it's been ten minutes, is she okay?

When I face back towards the clubroom, it's empty. Not just devoid of people, but of everything. I'm no longer sitting on a chair but rather the cold hard floor. Where is everyone, what is going on? I stand up and face the window once more, but not even that exists now.

Jesus I must have some shitty flu right now if I'm tripping this hard. Sayori? Sayori!?  
Even shouting at the top of my lungs causes nothing to come out, no noise. I lay my back on the clubroom wall, and sit on the floor in silence.  
"You didn't look hard enough." Theres that voice again, belonging to some voice I just can't grasp yet I know well. I look up and the figure it clouded in a dark blue mist, so dark it's almost black.  
"Where, tell me where to look. What I need to find," it's all I need to know. Well, maybe not all I need to know. "Where am I even?" 

"You failed at being-" wait. This voice. I know it more than I thought I would. "-your fault, all of it is," it's Sayori. I stand up at an instant "Sayori, where are you?" I practically scream in my mind but it only comes out calm and collected. "Where we would always be together."  
The park, the park where we met. Where we would often go to have play-dates, to play together, hang out. How do I get out of this room? Where do I go??

There's no openings, there's no way out. "How do I leave?"-"Is there any point in leaving, you messed everything up already. You've done enough," I can't yell I can't be mad. For all the blaming I can't feel anything other than guilt. Why? What did I do, what didn't I do? 

"Please..." I feel my shoulder tighten, finding someone's hand on it. It's not Yuri's, or Natsuki's, or even Monika's. It's my own? But it's not me doing it, it's almost. It's someone else entirely, yet still me. "Go," almost instantly I bolt up out of my slump and charge through the door, tripping on everything that now has come back into existence. I hear shouting of everyone from the clubroom, yet I ignore it and bolt straight to the park.

Hours it feels, years till I make it. The tree where we always were, there's a single note stapled onto it. A poem.  
 _My pain nobody sees.  
My my mangled body they shall see.   
My head was all but a mess.   
Depression overtaking me.   
Suicide was to be my bid for freedom.   
Because deppression isn't obvious but suicide is. _

_Depression is never obvious even when its staring them in the face.  
But now suicide will be obvious how can it not?   
Now my life is too much to bear.   
Suicide I shall commit.   
Now its obvious but its all too late._

I don't get it... I don't get it anymore. No, no I do. I- I have to get to Sayori's house. I instantly run away and keep running, as fast as I can. And before I know it, I'm in front of Sayori's room. I don't even remember entering her house, I don't even know how I got in but whatever means certainly wasn't legal.

"Sayori, I'm coming in," I opened the door wide open and before my very eyes was everything I could of ever wanted to prevent. The life of my best friend dangled in front of me, blood covering the neck and fingers of her.

The lifeless blue eyes, bow fallen onto the floor, dirty rope and stench of blood wafting around the room. The entire house felt smaller than it ever did before.  
I can't even come to tears, all I can feel is anger. At myself, at Sayori. It were just yesterday when she was in my arms, yet now if I get even a step closer I might throw up. Why? Where did it all go wrong?

'You didn't search hard enough,' right? Is that what I was supposed to find? A rope? The thing that took her life? I fall to my knees and slam into the ground, tears starting to come up. It feels like I shed tears for hours before I slowly drift off due to my own weariness of running around and this odd sickness that has existed since I woke up.

Almost instantly I throw my head up, panting. "Wha-hu, where..?" This is Sayori's room, but there's something different. It's clean. Well, as clean as it could get, but almost how it was in the morning. This... was it all a dream?

I feel something grip onto my arm, snoring. It's her. The largest wave of relief rushes over me, and I quickly hug Sayori with all my energy. She's ok, I can't believe it. It was a dream. What even happened? I can only make out vague details now, but from what I do know I'll prevent any of this happening. I'll make sure of it.

While hugging Sayori, probably to tightly, she slowly wakes up to what I assume is an odd view. I quickly let go of her. "S-sorry, just was a bit happy to awake with you next to me," dear lord that sounded weird. "I mean, not l-"-I'm happy too..." huh?? Sayori lays her head onto my arm and grips onto it, slowly dazing off back to sleep. I guess she didn't really mean that, she's probably tired out of her mind.

Dear lord what even happened... I'm gonna have to go through all the day again? Should be fun, but at least I got Sayori next to me. And this time I know, I'll look harder.  
Today is going to be a long ass day...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear lord am I bad at writing fever dream shit, shoulda got someone who's good at it to do it for me. Sorry for cringe chapter b


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